Good Behavior by Donald E. Westlake Page B

people, and they came on this assassination attempt, and Herman helped the guy they were trying to kill, and it turned out he was the next president of Talabwo, which is why they were trying to put him out that window, so when he got home he invited Herman over as a thank you, and that’s when Herman found out the vice -president was figuring on a coup, so now Herman’s vice-president, and he says he enjoys it a lot.”
    Dortmunder said, “He does, does he?”
    â€œYeah. Except he isn’t Herman X anymore, now he’s Herman Makanene Stulu’mbnick.”
    Tiny said, “I am growing weary.”
    â€œWell, that’s all I know anyway,” Kelp said. He poured himself some more Amsterdam Liquor Store Bourbon.
    Tiny said, “I know a guy, for the locks. He’s a little unusual.”
    Dortmunder said, “After those stories? Your guy is unusual?”
    â€œAt least he’s in New York,” Tiny said. “His name’s Wilbur Howey.”
    â€œI don’t know him,” Dortmunder said.
    â€œHe just came out of the slammer,” Tiny said. “I’ll have a word with him.”
    â€œFine,” Dortmunder said. He hesitated, and cleared his throat.
    â€œHere it comes now,” Tiny said.
    Dortmunder gave him an innocent look. “Here comes what, Tiny?”
    â€œThe butcher’s thumb,” Tiny said. “You know what I do with the butcher’s thumb?”
    â€œThere’s nothing wrong , Tiny,” Dortmunder said. “The deal is exactly as I said it was. Only, there’s just one more little element.”
    â€œOne more little element.”
    â€œWhile we’re in the building,” Dortmunder said, “take no time at all, we go up to the top floor, handle one extra little piece of business. Nothing to it.”
    Tiny viewed Dortmunder more in sorrow than in anger. “Tell me about this, Dortmunder,” he said. “What is this extra little piece of business?”
    â€œWell,” Dortmunder said. He knocked back a little Amsterdam Liquor Store Bourbon, coughed, and said, “The fact is, uh, Tiny, while we’re in there anyway, uh, it seems we have to rescue this nun.”

14
    â€œHow did it go last night?” May asked.
    Dortmunder paused with a spoonful of Wheaties in midair. He nodded thoughtfully, pondering the question, and then said, “Well, there was a chancy minute or two when I mentioned the nun, but then it worked out.”
    â€œWhat was the chancy minute?”
    â€œTiny. He didn’t like it.”
    May was making herself instant coffee, standing in a dapple of morning sunshine reflected twice before coming in the airshaft window. She said, “What didn’t he like about it?”
    Dortmunder had taken that load of Wheaties on board. He chewed and chewed and swallowed and said, “Nuns. Tiny says nuns remind him of a movie called Come to the Stable , and he’s mad at that movie.”
    â€œ Come to the Stable? ” May poured hot water over brown dust. “Why would he be mad at a movie?”
    â€œApparently, he was in an armored car job once, and it got screwed up, and he hid inside the air ducts in a movie house for a week. Late at night he’d come out of the ducts and go down and eat the candy and drink the soda, but he could never leave the building because the cops knew a couple guys in the job were still in the neighborhood somewhere, and they were doing a house-to-house search and maintaining a presence on the street and all that. So it was a revival house, and that week they were showing Come to the Stable , with Loretta Young and Celeste Holm as these two nuns that were very good to everybody all the time, and smiled a lot. Tiny saw that movie twenty-seven times that week, and he says he’s never felt quite the same about nuns ever since.”
    The phone rang, in the living room. Dortmunder said, “I’ll get it,” and went away