Growing Up Twice by Rowan Coleman Page B

need us for at least one part of that scenario, don’t you?’ he says.
    ‘No. We’ll all be able to get sperm donors soon, just like going to a supermarket. In the chiller cabinet,’ she says with a sweet little smile, and poor old Hakam gags into his glass of Coke.
    ‘Oh, really.’ Josh’s eyes are sparkling with mischief. ‘And have you told this to Jamie Bolton yet? I’d expect he’d like to know your view on these things before he gets around to asking you out.’
    ‘No!’ She giggles and covers her eyes with a beautifully manicured hand. ‘Leave it, Josh! You’re gonna be in big trouble!’
    ‘Oooh, who’s Jamie Bolton?’ Rosie joins in. I think she is glad to have the conversation steered away from her, which must be a lifetime first. Selin joins in now with the same wicked sibling-teasing smile her brother is brandishing.
    ‘Jamie works behind the record counter at Woolworths,’ she says. ‘Ayla
loves
him, don’t you?’ Ayla laughs good-naturedly and her eyes sparkle with the first-crush flush of excitement and anticipation.
    ‘No! I don’t love him!’ She turns to me in a touching kind of conspiratorial way and says, ‘He’s well cute though, seriously, and he’s a nice bloke too, well safe.’
    ‘Good,’ I say, feeling the spirit of Auntie Marge entering my body, ‘I’d hate to think of him being in peril.’
    Later, after coffee so strong it could launch a rocket, ice-cream and some
baklava
from the bakery on the corner, Rosie and Selin get out boxes of old photos, Mr Selin nods off in a chair and Ayla becomes engrossed in a phone-text conversation with someone who makes her giggle a lot. Hakam, free at last, has gone back to his bedroom. Mrs Selin refuses any help with clearing away and I flick through her collection of easy-listening LPs, looking for a Dean Martin track that I really love. Josh sits opposite me rolling a fag and now he goes to the balcony doors at the back of the room and steps outside saying, ‘This is my last, giving up today!’.
    ‘It’s still pretty mild out here,’ he calls back though the nets and I go out and join him to look at the outside world.
    We have a wonderful view of the back gardens and rooftops of North London. The brown and grey houses and scatter of aerials and satellite dishes have the gentle rosy glow of one of the year’s last summer evenings. The sound of the traffic has abated a bit, somewhere nearby kids are playing football and we can smell a barbecue a couple of houses down.
    ‘So, how are you doing in all this?’ Josh says. He smiles at me in that way that makes the stubble on his chin crinkle into dimples and I think how nice it is to have had a big-brother figure around all these years. When I first met him I used to have the maddest crush on him. It’s funny really; we laugh about it now. I used to clam up and go red whenever I saw him. Funny because he’s just not my type any more, and we have become firm friends.
    ‘Rosie is very lucky to have a pair of friends like you,’ he says. ‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ He always takes the trouble to ask.
    ‘Yeah, I’m pretty good, really,’ I say. ‘We’re lucky to have Rosie.’
    ‘They told you what I heard about Owen, didn’t they?’ I nod and sigh, biting my lip as I look out over the neighbours’ back gardens.
    ‘Well, I’m glad you’re over that, it sounds like he’s gone a bit mental from what I hear. If you ever wanted me to, you know, sort him out for you I would, you know.’ I smile at him and pat the top of his hand which is resting on the railing. I think to myself that I can’t imagine Josh getting heavy with a cuddly toy, never mind someone like Owen.
    ‘You’re sweet. But I think this will all go away on its own and I don’t want anyone getting into trouble over him. I just feel so stupid.’
    ‘Stupid? Why?’
    ‘Because looking back I can’t believe I ever had anything to do with him, let alone loved him. I would have done anything for