Helens-of-Troy by Janine McCaw Page A

for
questioning.”
    Helena folded her arms across her
chest. “Darling, Chief Cohen was fine with it all. What did you
expect? If we had murdered Mr. Wagner, I’m sure he would have
handled things differently.”
    “And what was up with that?” she asked,
throwing her hands up in the air questioningly. “The Chief of
Police shows up at your door and acts like this happens here all
the time. ‘Oh, okay Helena, it's a suicide. I’m sure the note will
be in the pocket just like you say it will. Barney Fife and I have
to get back to the station now. We’ll wrap this up in the morning.
Or not.'"
    “Your point being?” Helena said
tersely. “And for your information, Barney Fife’s name is Rick
Purdy.”
    “ What kind of cops do you
have in this town? Do they find their badges inside cereal
boxes?”
    Helena took offense. “Well, they didn't
come back did they? Obviously the note was there just like I said
it was going to be.”
    “And how did you know that? Are you
mind reading these days?”
    “Don’t go there, Helen. You’ll be sorry
you did. Mr. Wagner had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was
beyond chemo, so I was doing what I could for him from a holistic
approach. He was my patient. All summer long he would come and sit
on my porch and drink the herbal tea I would leave out for him. He
told me once that's where he wanted to die. Sipping tea on my
porch. He said he wouldn't bother me with the details, but when it
was time, it was time, and I would find a note in his shirt pocket.
I should have left some tea out for him yesterday. I meant to. I
just got busy.” She paused for a moment, a look of puzzlement
crossing her face. “I wonder what he did with the other dead
body?”
    “What other dead body? Do you mean
there's more than one?”
    Helena took her housecoat off, fully
revealing the matching silk negligee underneath. “Oh relax, Helen.
I meant the stuffed shirt and pants I put out there on the veranda
earlier in the day as a Halloween prop. Honestly, you're letting
your imagination get the better of you.” She picked up the cereal
box and peered inside it. “Nope. No police badges inside.
Satisfied?”
    “This is why I moved away from home the
first chance I got. You’re like a tornado. Anything in your path
that’s the least bit unbalanced, spins around and winds up dead on
your doorstep.”
    “Are you saying that you’re
unbalanced?” Helena said tersley as she sat down at the table. “Are
you about to die on my doorstep?”
    “Of course not.”
    “Then that statement is a bit extreme,
don’t you think? So what if we have a gust of bizzaro from time to
time around here? Every household does. Mr. Wagner wasn’t
unbalanced. He was just lonely. So stop your nonsense, take some of
the iced tea out of the fridge and sit down. Don't worry, it's not
going to kill you. There’s no eye-of-newt in it. It's
decaf.”
    “That's not funny. Where do you keep
your drinking glasses?”
    “It wasn't meant to be. Top right
cupboard.” Helena noticed the look of anger on her daughter’s face
as she passed by her. “All right then, we’ll change the subject.
Ellie looks lovely.”
    Helen’s face turned a deep shade of
crimson. “I am so sorry about that. I don't know what's gotten into
her. She won’t leave the house without her ‘dawn-of-the-dead’
make-up. I tried to get her to take it off before she came here
yesterday, but she wouldn’t.” She walked over and opened the
refrigerator. “I don’t see it. The tea, I mean.”
    “Top shelf, behind the milk. I wasn’t
being sarcastic. She really does look lovely. I haven’t seen her in
ages. Those eyes of hers are gorgeousthat piercing green stare she
has beneath those killer long eyelashesshe must send the boys
wild. You didn’t actually think I’d be offended by her appearance
did you? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
    Helen poured herself a drink. “The
thought had crossed my mind.”
    “For heaven’s sake,