Her Last Love Affair by Clara James Page B

even have sex.
Instead, cuddled up on her couch, watching an old Cary Grant movie, they’d both
drifted off into peaceful sleep and remained there ’til morning.
    She was happy, happier than she had been in a long time.
Ironically, the knowledge of that made her profoundly depressed, because she
was acutely aware of the fact it couldn’t last. She’d found true happiness, a
man she could imagine herself growing old with, and she wasn’t going to get the
chance to grow old at all. Her low moods were yet another cause to lie to
Reece. She’d tell him she had a lot on at work, that she was stressed and just
needed to unwind, which, at first, he had no reason to disbelieve. As time
passed, she knew he’d begin to suspect there was something more to her mood
swings.
    Meanwhile, she’d been cancelling or postponing dates with
old flames she’d met online, including Mitch Hatley. He continued to write and
send text messages, while she politely stalled him. Allie was reluctant to give
up the idea of grabbing that particular lost opportunity, but, at the same
time, wondered if she could ever want to sleep with any man except Reece - she
certainly couldn’t imagine it. Her dreams were filled with him and her waking
fantasies refused to drift to any other man, no matter how handsome.
    In short, Allie knew that her relationship with Reece, for,
like it or not, that’s certainly what it had become, had to end. She simply
couldn’t continue to lie, and she didn’t want to torture herself with the taste
of a life she would never really get to experience.
    But breaking things off was going to be difficult. Like a
crack addict, she lacked all will power around him. He only had to flash a
glimpse of that gorgeous smile or say her name in that deep, baritone voice of
his and she was unable to resist. Nevertheless, she had to find the resolve
from somewhere.
     
    ***
     
    “You’ve been quiet,” Reece noted, reaching for the glass of
Shiraz in front of him.
    Allie was just pushing the food on her plate around, feeling
far too sick to put anything in her mouth. “I’ve just been thinking,” she
shrugged.
    “About?” he prodded.
    “Us,” she replied, sucking in a steadying breath, as she
mentally prepared herself for the conversation she’d rehearsed a hundred times.
    Reece could see she was nervous and guessed good news was
not on her mind. “Okay,” he nodded, replacing the glass on her small kitchen
table and leaning forwards. “What is it?” he asked.
    “Reece,” she sighed, staring at the fingerprints he’d left
on the glass. “I told you, I can’t be in a relationship right now.”
    “I know.”
    “So, we can’t do this anymore,” she continued, realizing
that he simply didn’t see the problem.
    “Why not?” he smiled.
    “Ree-”
    “Look,” he quickly interrupted, knowing exactly what she
would say if he allowed her to continue. “You said no relationship, we’re not
in a relationship.”
    “Do you know how many times we’ve seen each other over the
last several weeks?” she argued, leaning back exhaustedly against the
uncomfortable wooden chair.
    “Most nights,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t mean
anything,” he added. “There’s no pressure, Allie,” he urged. “You’re busy,
that’s fine. You don’t want to tell your parents that we’re dating again,
that’s fine, too.”
    “Reece,” she muttered, shaking her head.
    “It’s completely casual, Allie. If that’s what you want, you
got it.”
    Drawing in a shaky breath, Allie tried to remind herself of what
was at stake; why she had to call a halt to things now. “And what do you want?”
she asked, wondering if a different angle would help her cause.
    “What do you mean?”
    “Let’s forget what I want for a second,” Allie said, meeting
his eyes. “What do you want?”
    Placing his palms on the table either side of his plate, he
glanced down thoughtfully. “Honestly,” he mumbled. “I don’t know.” Turning