Her Majesty by Robert Hardman Page B

Charles?” And I would think: “I don’t know anyone called Charles.” And I really would not think of him as “Charles”. That’s why titles are crucial. If you don’t buy into that basic respect, then the whole thing’s going to wind up very quickly. It’s the same with ministers who want everyone to call them by their first name. It disrupts the relationship very quickly.’
    No one, however grand, is immune from the royal ‘stare’. Queen Mary – ‘probably the last woman to believe in the Divine Right of Kings’, says Kenneth Rose – once reduced Loelia, Duchess of Westminster, to jelly with a killer stare. The Duchess had kissed her hand and left lipstick on the royal glove. London’s embassy circuit is still talking about the recent annual diplomatic reception at which one diplomat arrived late and missed his allotted place in the introduction line. Rather than miss out on his handshake and chat with the Queen, he pushed into the line further down. It was not a wise move. Not only was there no chat but he received ‘the stare’ and was promptly escorted away by officials.
    A former Cabinet Minister, who periodically found himself on duty with several members of the Royal Family, admits that there was ‘this invisible line between formality and informality’ and not much guidance. ‘Because we’re in the modern world now, I find myself wondering: “Is this appropriate?” And I think, on balance, that it probably is; that if we choose to have a monarchy, it is different from other systems and they’re never off duty. There isn’t an entirely private life except within their own family.’
    It’s part of the royal paradox. We want our monarch to be just like us and yet we want her to be different. ‘To be part of the nation and yet apart from the nation is always a difficult balance,’ Sir John Major acknowledges. She may be the most famous woman on earth but those close to the Queen testify to a robust sense of position, though not of self-importance. And she has an implacable aversion to insincerity, however well intentioned. The Queen cannot abide pretence. A former Private Secretary recalls suggesting what might almost constitute a gag. ‘I wanted a joke in this speech about Private Eye – it may have been using the phrase “Shome Mistake” – and she just said to me, very firmly: “It just isn’t me to talk about Private Eye.” All the private secretaries had the experience of recommending her to do various things when she was out and about and more than once she said: “I don’t think that’s quite right.” It was a firm touch.’
    One of those private secretaries was the late Lord Charteris who recalled drafting a speech for her which began: ‘I am very glad to be back in Birmingham.’ The Queen read it, picked up a pen and crossed out the word ‘very’. It was not a slight to Birmingham. It was simply that – in her eyes – it smacked of insincerity.
    ‘She’s just not a consummate actress like her mother,’ says a member of the inner sanctum. The late Queen Mother, it must be said, had no qualms about dispensing a little superfluous praise. When a storm forced an emergency landing in a godforsaken Canadian outpost called ColdLake in 1985, the locals were even more delighted when she declared: ‘Ah, Cold Lake. I’ve always wanted to come here.’
    It was Lord Charteris who remarked that the Queen ‘combines her mother’s charm with her father’s shyness’. She has endured the public spotlight more than anyone else alive but has never enjoyed it greatly. ‘You never feel that she courts popularity. Sometimes you rather wish that she did more,’ says a former Private Secretary. ‘But her judgement is impeccable. By not courting it, she is more popular than if she did court it. She’s not an ambulance chaser.’
    Prince William is emphatic on the subject. ‘She cares not for celebrity, that’s for sure,’ he says firmly – and approvingly. ‘That’s