Hitting Back by Andy Murray Page B

felt I'd let him off the hook, having twice been within a
point of a 4–1 lead in the final set. I had expected to win. I
didn't think he was anything special as a player, despite being
seven years older than me and ranked over 300 places higher.
I was totally frustrated.
    Later, when I calmed down and looked back on that day, I
could see that the match had helped me a good deal. I had
played in an ATP tournament and I had not felt out of place. I
knew from that moment on that I could definitely reach the
World Top-100. That had been my dream. Now it was my
goal.
    But first I had to resolve an ongoing problem with Pato as
my coach. It had degenerated into a difficult relationship.
When I met him at the Academy, he struck me as a really
friendly, nice guy. He used to bring us sliced oranges that we
would eat by the side of the court while we were training. He
was famous for having coached about forty guys who reached
the top-50, including Ilie Nastase, and he is credited with being
one of the main reasons behind the turn around in Spanish
tennis in the last twenty years. They called him 'El Guru del
Tenis'.
    There is no doubt he was hugely knowledgeable and I know
I learned loads from him, but by now he was a 69-year-old
man and I was a 17-year-old boy and maybe the numbers just
didn't add up. It was a bit like being with a grandparent. Also,
I wasn't always travelling individually with him. Usually, I was
with a small group of players – three or four of us would go to
tournaments together – and I was at the stage where I felt I
needed a little bit more individual coaching. I wasn't particularly
happy. I seemed to need someone to pick me up more.
And, I'd been in Spain going on for three years. The training
was great, but it was becoming very repetitive. Barcelona had
been good for me, but it was time to leave.
    I looked at myself pretty ruthlessly. I basically had no
variation in my game. I was playing the same way as all the
other guys around my ranking. Yet I wasn't as fit, nor as
experienced as them and, mentally, I wasn't as strong. I was
losing a lot of matches. I needed a change and wanted to play
my own game.
    At first, the separation was uncomfortable. I remember
spending my eighteenth birthday at a Challenger in Germany
on my own. It was probably the first birthday in my life when
I hadn't seen anyone from my family. I was struggling, but I
didn't give up and it wasn't long before I managed to turn it
around.
    My mum came over to be with me when I played in the
French Open Juniors in Paris, my first grand slam since
becoming the US Junior Champion. I was ambitious for the
tournament. I wanted to prove I could perform on clay as well
as hard courts. I felt well and determined. Then I got food
poisoning the night before the tournament started. I was
running to the toilet every twenty minutes before my game
against Piero Luisi of Venezuela in the first round but,
fortunately, the problem eased and when I beat the highly-rated
Argentinian Juan-Martin Del Potro in straight sets in the
quarters, I felt pretty happy. I even gave a press conference
afterwards and we had a laugh about a streak of blood on the
court that I left from scraping my knuckles. I thought it added
to the scene of battle.
    If tennis teaches you anything, it is that your mood can
change overnight. My semi-final was against Croatia's Marin
Cilic, who went on to be the number two junior in the world,
and suddenly everything was rubbish again. It had been raining
and our match was switched to one of the smaller show courts
where the wind was swirling and making it difficult to get into
a rhythm. I was furious at blowing a lead to lose the first set
and smashed a couple of rackets on the court. The frustration
was getting to me so badly that at one point I just yelled: 'What
are you doing , Andy?'
    I tried not to make any excuses afterwards. I had been
playing doubles with my friend Andrew Kennaugh late into the
night before, which might have affected