House of Payne: Rude by Stacy Gail Page B

it might inspire her to do the same. Getting into some kind of touchy-feely trauma-sharing party with Rude was something she wanted to do only slightly more than she wanted to wrestle alligators. If she didn’t push him to share his pain, she wouldn’t have to reciprocate.
    Simple.
    And selfish.
    So fucking selfish, she couldn’t stand herself.
    Suffering was the loneliest thing a human could ever endure. No one else knew what it was to feel that kind of deep, inwardly screaming agony. Most of the world didn’t even know it was there, and certainly no one cared about it. Everyone was too busy taking care of their own needs, or being grateful that they weren’t the ones who suffered. No one reached out. No one helped.
    Because no one cared.
    That was why she ached to ask him about it. She wanted him to know there was a door that was open for him in case he ever felt like walking through it. She wanted to be the one who reached out a hand to him, from one human to another, to let him know that someone in the world cared. That someone gave a damn about his suffering. Suffering that had apparently been so bad it had forced him to crawl into a Nowhere Place of his own.
    That wasn’t a place she ever wanted him to be.
    “If…” His mouth was still on her brow. Gentle. Oddly careful, as if he thought she might shatter if he applied any more pressure. A painful ache squeezed up from deep inside to lodge in her throat. “If you want to talk… maybe we could do it later. It’s getting late, so…”
    Coward.
    Stupid, selfish, self-protective, uncaring coward.
    God, she hated herself. No one had reached out to her until his parents had come along and saved her. And they’d saved her because they fucking cared.
    This was how she paid them back with their son.
    Fucking worthless coward.
    Something that sounded like a laugh whispered out of him, and she opened eyes she couldn’t remember closing to stare at the strong column of his throat. “Had enough of me for tonight, huh?”
    She’d had more than enough turmoil, that was for damn sure. As it was, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, so there was no point in making it any worse. With that in mind, she dug deep and edged back so she could give him a passable smile. “Pretty much. Thank you for dinner, though.”
    The smile that started in his eyes had her catching her breath. “It was better than you’d imagined it’d be. Admit it.”
    The way he said it and that cocky grin made her pulse pause. “You are still talking about the food, aren’t you?”
    “What else would I be talking about?”
    Duh . “The kiss.”
    “Oh, right. The kiss . I see it’s still on your mind. Must’ve made quite an impression on you, yeah?”
    Oh, good grief . “Careful, Rude. When you fish for compliments, you might catch something you don’t want.”
    “If it comes from you, I’ll want it.”
    Her heart slammed against her ribs, and suddenly everything seemed deadly serious. “Don’t tempt me to test that theory.”
    “Could I?” He reached out and sifted his hand through her hair before bunching it up, as if he couldn’t resist feeling it wrap around his fingers. “Could I tempt you, Sassy?”
    “To do what?” Though she knew the answer, and it both shocked and appalled her. He could tempt the breath out of her lungs, the logic out of her head, her body out of her clothes. It was unbelievable, but there it was. Rude could most definitely tempt her.
    At least in that moment.
    Even as the flicker of sanity flared inside her like a newly struck match, his hold on her hair loosened a moment before he stepped away.
    “Yeah, you’ve had enough of me for tonight. But I’m good with that.” He dropped his head one last time for a kiss that was full of sensual promise that made her hungry for more. No doubt that was just the sort of reaction he’d been going for. “I got the progress I wanted, so tonight’s going down as a win in my book.”
    “Again with the