How To Break Up With An Alien by Magan Vernon Page B

rugby queen and then he offers you pizza? Sounds like he wants help somewhere that isn't homework."
    Simone opened her eyes wide and held her arms out in front of her, thrusting the air with her pelvis.
    "Gross!"
    "Oh come on!" She stopped the air hump and leaned in. "You said it yourself, you are fighting with your boyfriend and that soul patch thing on Brody's chin is pretty hot."
    I shook my head. I would never cheat on Ace. Not just because I really did love him, despite all the fighting, but I feared what would happen to the universe if we ever broke up. I wouldn't even begin to know how to break up with an alien.
     
    ***
     
    At seven fifteen on the dot I rolled my car downtown. Actually you couldn't even really call it much of a downtown. About one block worth of buildings was flanked on one side with a park that was usually filled with stoners on the merry-go-round instead of little kids, and filled with old brick buildings. There were three different pizza places, four hair dressers, and a dentist. Big downtown living.
    Anna's Pizza was one of the first buildings, directly next to Ciminos pizza and across from the video rental store. I pulled into a spot in front and could already see Brody sitting in the front window.
    The air was finally cooling down and I actually didn't sweat my hair off by the time I walked from my car and into Anna's. It wasn't a huge place with only a few booths, Pepsi machine, and a small counter with the pizza staff behind it. I made my way over to the booth by the window and squeezed in across from Brody.
    "You made it." He smiled way too happily, like I'd just told him the cure for cancer or something.
    "Yeah, I said I would." I slung my messenger bag off and pulled out my English notebook. Winnebago was small and a lot of people from our high school worked at Anna's. I didn't want anyone to think this was a date. "You had questions on our English assignment, right?"
    Before he could answer our waitress came over with two cans of Pepsi. I recognized her from school. Lynn, I think her name was. She always wore her hair in a side pony and smacked her gum really loudly.
    "Two cans of Pepsi, anything else?" She sounded bored and didn't even look at us when she talked.
    "Yeah, can we get a medium pizza with...what did you want on it, Alex?" Brody reached his hand across the table and I quickly moved mine under the booth.
    "Pineapple and jalapeños," I answered, looking right at Lynn.
    "Alright, the lady wants pineapple and jalapeños, so we'll go with that," Brody said way too enthusiastic. Who the heck even says lady ?
    Lynn muttered something while she scribbled on her notepad and walked back to the kitchen.
    "Okay, so our assignment."
    Brody ignored me. "Man, I'm really sorry about the way Gemma has been treating you. I'm hoping that I can make up for it."
    "Don't worry about that. It's all taken care of. No one got in trouble and everything is just peachy." I opened my Pepsi can and took a big swig.
    "It just sucks, you know? I mean I've been with Gemma as long as I can remember and all of a sudden it's like I'm seeing the real Gemma." He took a gulp of his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his jacket sleeve before setting it back down on the table. "And let me tell you the real Gemma is a bitch."
    I covered my mouth to keep the Pepsi from spewing out of my mouth and all over the table. "Did you just say what I think you did?"
    "What? That Gemma is a bitch?" He leaned back against the vinyl seat. "Yeah I think she took one too many B vitamins and I just really started to notice."
    "So does that mean you two aren't getting back together?" I asked, more out of curiosity than anything.
    He ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't have much. It always reminded me of baby chick fuzz. I wondered if it actually felt like a baby chick, too. "I don't know. I sure hope not. All those mean things she said to you and to everyone else is just plain evil."
    "Tell me about it."
    "You know, it's