I Left My Back Door Open by April Sinclair Page B

it?” she whined.
    I stopped and pushed Tyeesha’s braids away and stroked her face. “Because it’s tough all over, that’s why. Your mother didn’t just wake up one day and decide, ‘I think I’ll freak everybody out and become a lesbian.’ I’ve known Sharon since jumpstreet. And I know that just like she walked the floor with you as a baby, she walked the floor with this. I imagine her stomach has been in knots and she has searched her soul. And I’m sure that for a long time she put everybody else’s feelings ahead of her own.”
    â€œIt’s like I don’t even know her anymore,” Tyeesha said, shaking her head. “I stop myself from saying, ‘Mom, don’t you think he’s cute?’ And when we’re watching TV, I put a different weight on it now when she says, ‘She’s so beautiful,’ or, ‘I love a certain actress or a certain singer.’ It’s like there’s a wall between us and we’re on different sides. I hate to say this, but I feel funny now when she even hugs me.”
    â€œNow you’re really tripping.”
    â€œYou don’t think I’m homophobic, do you?” Tyeesha had a concerned look in her big brown eyes.
    â€œDo chittlins take a long time to cook?” I sneered.
    â€œYou do, huh?”
    â€œYeah, but it’s understandable. She’s your mother, so it’s hard. Change is hard, period, and this is a big one. Your mama is your role model and all of a sudden you’re not sure whether you can identify with her.”
    â€œYeah. I just can’t understand why she would wanna go that way. I mean, I know it’s hard to find a good man at her age.”
    â€œAll right, baby girl, you’re stepping on my toes now.”
    â€œBut I still think she’s giving up too easily.”
    â€œIt’s not a question of giving up, it’s a matter of going after what she thinks is right for her.”
    â€œYou can understand her? Don’t you think it’s whack, too?”
    â€œYou know, I don’t understand why people like cantaloupe,” I answered. “But everybody in my family liked it and for some strange reason, a lot of people I know eat it. But you know what, I’ve never bought a cantaloupe in my life and I don’t intend to, either.”
    â€œWell, everybody has their food likes and dislikes.” Tyeesha shrugged. “I hate anchovies.” She stuck her tongue out. “I’d rather eat dirt.”
    I slowed down and Tyeesha followed suit. “Anchovies are pretty easy to avoid and so are cantaloupes, for that matter. But you know what? Everybody has their preferences, period. And some preferences are more important than others. Nobody much cares whether we like anchovies or cantaloupes. We get off pretty easy.”
    â€œI can’t understand how anybody can hate ice cream, fried chicken or pizza or chocolate,” Tyeesha said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
    I patted my stomach. “Unfortunately for my waistline, I agree with you. But the world is a big place; somebody somewhere dislikes every food you mentioned.”
    â€œThey’re crazy.”
    â€œMaybe they’re just different from you. If Sharon can find a woman who treats her right, more power to her. I’m not gonna knock her. There are plenty of straight people who make romantic choices that I don’t understand or agree with. But they’re consenting adults, so what can I do about it? Why should gays and lesbians be held to a higher standard?”
    Tyeesha stood still. “Because one of them happens to be my mother. That’s why.”
    â€œCome here, baby girl.” I hugged my godchild. “You still got your mama and you still got me and all the other people who love you.”
    â€œI just can’t talk to her like I could before,” Tyeesha whimpered. “Everything’s