If You Love Me by Anna Kristell Page B

so angry with me for
bringing his name up. I really thought I could make you forget the guy. But I
guess I was wrong and everyone else was right. So, no, I don’t believe you when
you say it’s me you want. Because everything about you tells me you’re still
not over him. You may love me in some way but not the way I want you to. You’ve
never fully given yourself to me. I know he’s still in the back of your mind and
in your heart. So go find him. See what you’re missing out on. See if he’s
changed his mind. Maybe the two of you will be ecstatically happy together.”
    “You can’t mean that.”
    “Try me. I’m giving you my blessing.
I can’t go on with you if I’m not the reason you wake up in the morning or the
reason you can’t wait to get home from work at night.”
    “You. Make. Me. So. Mad!”
    “Apparently, I do. I don’t see you
trying to end this argument. I don’t see you rushing into my arms. That must
mean you’re contemplating what I just said.”
    Ashley turned and fled to the
sanctity of their bedroom, unable to control the tears any longer. She wasn’t
about to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. He’d only accuse her of
crying for Ross. Was he right?
    Slamming the door, she went to the
bathroom, stripped, and ran a hot bath. After she’d soaked until her skin was
wrinkling, she stepped out and dried herself with a fluffy white towel. When
she was snugly settled under the blankets, in the queen-sized bed she shared
with Adam, her thoughts wandered. She thought back to the day she had once
thought her world had ended. She and Ross had dated for two years. He
was…well…hot. Tall, well-muscled, tanned, blonde, he looked like a surfer boy.
She had, in fact, met him at the beach, while on vacation. They immediately
bonded and soon after entered into a hot, steamy romance. He’d even moved to
the Midwest, to be near her. But as young girls often do, Ashley had dreamed of
a future with Ross, complete with white-picket fence, two kids, a dog, a cat,
the all-American dream. When she had mentioned her dreams to Ross, he simply
laughed and kissed her. Of course, all coherent thought was gone after that and
the subject was always dropped. Ross had known how to play her.
    She would never forget the
conversation that ended it all. The day she refused to back down. Ross had
stopped by after work one Friday evening ready for a night of bedroom play. But
Ashley had other ideas. She brought up the subject of marriage again. When he’d
tried to kiss her, she’d pulled away. She wasn’t about to be put off again.
    “Ross, we have to talk. We never
finish this conversation.”
    “Okay, sweet thing, talk away,” he’d
said.
    “I want to get married. We’ve been
together two years now. We’re good together, you can’t deny that.”
    “I can’t deny we’re hot together,
babe, but I don’t know about this whole marriage gig. I don’t think it’s for
me.”
    “Not for you? If you love me as much
as you say you do, there wouldn’t be any hesitation. Either you want to spend
the rest of our lives together or you don’t. You have to decide.”
    “Are you giving me an ultimatum? Are
you saying I have to decide tonight?”
      “Yes, I guess I am. I love you and I feel the
time has come for us to move to the next level.”
    He’d looked at her long and hard. “Then
I guess this is goodbye, Ashley. It’s been fun but I can’t give you what you’re
asking for.” He’d leaned over, kissed her, and walked out the door, leaving a
broken-hearted Ashley behind.
    When he hadn’t called her over the
next few days, she’d gone to his place. His neighbor told her he’d left town.
“Just packed up all his stuff and drove off. The landlord’s already got someone
else lined up to rent his apartment.”
    Ashley had driven home, blinded by
her tears. For six months she mourned the loss of Ross in her life. Finally,
resigning herself to the fact he was never coming back, she forced