the end, just a minute ago, I came to a plug in the tunnel about ten feet ahead. I can see the bottoms of dirt-packed, lug-soled boots, a damp, filthy oversuit, and, if I crane my neck almost out of joint, I can make out the white dome of a mud-splattered helmet. Itâs not Pree, whoâs waif-thin and wears size six boots, but one of the men, Hargrave, Mamoudi, or Starkeweather.
I crawl closer, scraping along on my elbows and toes, but get no reaction to the light flaring out from my headlamp. My initial thought is that the caverâs become wedged in the last few feet of the Bypass, where the tunnel cinches like a cruelly corseted waist. The first time I came through here with Pree, I tore a rotator cuff trying to shove myself through the passage. Now, four years later and at least fifteen pounds thinner, itâs still a brutal squeeze.
My second thought, after I grab a leg and begin shaking it, is that while he may or may not be stuck, this guyâs stone-cold dead.
Which means if I canât push him out, Iâm fucked.
Shit. Panic pinballs around my ribs. My lungs rasp, and all the airâs vanished.
Forget whateverâs inside the cave. Forget Pree and the chance of finding survivors. I want out of hereâNOW!
Then a soothing, calm voice that Iâve trained for just such situations begins speaking inside my head: Breathe, Karyn. Just breathe. Youâre okay. Weâll figure this out.
Itâs my own voice, the voice Iâve heard in other bad situations above and below ground, and I heed it. I must if I want to live. Gradually, I coax a full breath past the terror constricting my throat. Iâm not going to die down here. Not yet, anyway. A numb resolve settles in: I can do this.
Trying to eject a dead guy out the end of a tomb-black tunnel while youâre flat on your belly feels like a sadistâs idea of a stunt on some nightmarish survival TV show. I push until my biceps blaze, but itâs impossible to get any traction. I might as well be trying to strongarm Atlasâs Dick, a colossal stalagmite cavers use as a waypoint in one of the Brotterlingâs upper chambers.
I strain and curse and hyperventilate. Drink tears and cold, musky sweat. The white noise churning through the headphones under my helmet provides an incongruous soundtrack to my struggle: monster breakers shattering on a raw, rocky coastline of black sand and a harsh sun (at least, this is the image I get of it). The soundâs meant to protect me from the singing, but right nowâpinched like a thumb in a pair of Chinese handcuffsâthe buffering noise only intensifies the terror of being stuck in a limestone tube with a corpse.
Desperate, I decide to wiggle back out and look for another way to go on, but the tunnel twists and contorts at excruciating angles. Itâs impossible to slither out the way I came in. All I get for my efforts are bruised elbows, torn knees, and the mother of all wedgies.
Panic claws at my throat. Iâll never get out. Iâll die here, squished inside a stone straightjacket. But the voice in my head bullies and curses me onward, so I crawl back to the body. Since Iâm not strong enough to rely on brute force, I devise a slow, minimalist series of tweaks that gradually loosens this obstinate flesh-cork in its stone bottleneck: nudge, twist, rock side to side, nudge again.
The poor son of a bitch must have died two to six hours ago, because rigorâs setting in, which helps me extract him. Heâs plank-stiff and (I discover later) both arms are arrowed out in front of him like a cliff diver, the body so rigid by the time it finally pops free, he could double as a javelin or a maypole.
I wriggle out, shaking and sweat-slick, and aim my lamp down at the dead man, groaning when it illuminates the back of Mamoudiâs seamed, bloodied neck and reveals the muddy helmet to be a porridge of gray matter and hair glommed around a split, trepanned skull.