In Your Arms by Rebeca Ruiz Page B

can't believe Tanner had the nerve to call me. He's been trying to keep tabs on me, people still email me with gossip, but he only has my number, don't know who gave him the new one. No one from my old life knows I'm in New York. I've managed to figure out that Tanner was using me, and so were many of my old friends. Sarah is the only one who still emails me since I don't pick up my phone for any Illinois area code.
                  “Well, that sounds like a sorry bastard.” I didn't hear the door to the roof open, and somehow Braxton found his way up here and heard that message.
                  I lit up my cigarette and ignored him. It's been a week since Braxton decided to blackmail me. Charles stopped trying to call me, finally took the hint that his best friend ruined it. Nothing was every going to happen between us.
                  “Was that your real boyfriend?” He asks.
                  “Ex.” I blow out.
                  “Was he as rich as you?” Braxton was just pushing my buttons. I wasn't going to let him win again. I was done being pushed around.
                  “No.” I admit. “He went to Northwestern on a football scholarship, grew up dirt poor, still is. Well...not sure, I haven't talked to him in months.”
                  “Why'd you break up with him?” I never officially broke up with him, but when I began not answering any means of communication, he assumed the relationship was over.
                  “Because of the same thing you did. Assumed things about my life, and thought I'd just give up everything for him, and that I had nothing to lose because I was rich. I gave him what he really wanted from me, and I never talked to him again.”
                  “And what was that?” Braxton was surprised I was giving him this much information. I could see it all over his face.
                  “Doesn't matter. He's a part of my life that I never want to talk about. If I could rip that part out of my story and burn it, I would.” I closed my eyes. Hot tears were starting to fall. It was cold as balls outside and I had this light sweater on with pajama bottoms. “Ignore me. I'm fine.”
                  “Can I admit something to you?” I nod without looking at him.
                  “Growing up, I was never good at expressing myself. It stemmed from my father, he wasn't a good guy. I learned early on that I should just keep it all bottled up, and as many therapists have told me, that is not a coping mechanism that I need now. I'm going to say that the same applies to you.” I look at him and wipe away my tears.
                  “So what's your deal with women?” He smiles.
                  “Nothing, really. I love women. They're just easier to write about because I grew up with sisters, and the things I write about are things I learned by watching them.” I bite my lip. “And by dating and all that shit.” I shake my head.
                  “Why are you actually being decent to me?”
                  There had to be some deeper motive. At this point, I'm not sure I cared. I've learned that people are all the same, one way or another. Can't trust anyone but myself.
                  “In the spirit of Christmas, I may have realized that I was wrong to have blackmailed you. You were good for Charles, and I was wrong to ruin what you two had.” Christmas was five days away, New York had become quiet, even the streets weren't very loud, everyone was staying indoors because of the snow that was constantly falling every other day.
                  Now I knew what this is about.
                  “This isn't about you being sorry.” I flick my cigarette into the snow. I wasn't a frequent smoker, I just knew I'd need one when I saw Tanner's voicemail waiting to be