Infinite Risk by Ann Aguirre Page B

turning to face him.
    He lifted his shoulders in a careless shrug. “Why would I want to? Your life is infinitely amusing, and now I get to participate in the drama.”
    â€œIt’s not … You can’t do this. This may be hilarious to you, but if the others notice you sniffing around, it’ll get me killed. And if that happens before I fix everything…” My hands curled into fists as I trailed off.
    â€œYou’re not fixing anything,” he said.
    â€œHuh?”
    â€œYou’ve created a new possibility; that’s all. The world you left still exists. All the awful things have still happened. The details are fuzzy, but do you think you’re wiping the slate clean somehow? That’s not how it works.”
    His words hit me like a tire iron, and I collapsed on the edge of the bed. I’d suspected, of course, but I knew shit about time travel before I used my dad’s device, other than what I read his notes and had seen in science fiction. Of course, since the Harbinger was a trickster, maybe I shouldn’t believe him. He’d lied to me before, like when the woman next door died. But …
    â€œIn stories, people believe you’re wicked when you lie,” I said softly. “Fomenting misery, chaos, and discord with deceit. But I think you’re cruelest with the truth.”
    He sank down beside me, slipping into the shape most familiar, like someone else might change their shoes. In contrast with the pretty boy he’d chosen before, tonight he seemed haggard, eyes sunk deep, and there seemed to be more silver in his hair. Since he didn’t age, his form must reflect his present mood.
    The Harbinger stared at his folded hands. “And this is why I always come back. Such acuity is like an incision. It always hurts, but I’ve come to savor it.”
    â€œExcuse me?”
    â€œYou see the coal where my heart should be, and you don’t turn away. You speak it.”
    It took me a minute to parse, but I thought I understood. He was drawn to me because I saw him as he was, not as legends described him. Knowing that, it got harder to cling to my wrath over his interference. Truthfully, the existence of “Colin” would make my life easier, helping me toe the line so I didn’t break Kian’s heart.
    â€œWant to hear something funny?” I asked.
    â€œAlways.”
    â€œWhen you talked about making the mission easier, that’s kind of what Kian said in the other timeline, when Wedderburn told him to get close to me, so he pretended to be my boyfriend. It was supposed to get guys off my case at school and let me focus on revenge.” I had no idea why I was sharing this, maybe because solitary memories felt like sacks of cement strapped to my back. Loneliness could be distilled to this— I’m the only one who remembers.
    If I was expecting sympathy, clearly I’d mistaken my audience. “That makes it even more delicious. I do so love theater of the absurd.”
    â€œI deserve that. For thinking you care about anything but your own entertainment.”
    His voice dropped, signaling a somber air. “You shouldn’t worry. My presence won’t raise any red flags; this is hardly the first time I’ve played with a human for sport.”
    â€œ That’s supposed to make me feel better? Wedderburn already has one asset snooping around. Won’t Raoul wonder about your interest in me? If this escalates—”
    â€œI will protect you. There is one thing you should never doubt, and it is that I guard my treasures well.”
    That was so infuriating, I could only laugh. “I’m not your treasure.”
    â€œOf course you are,” he said, as if a priceless vase had objected to being set on a shelf. “Until I weary of you anyway.”
    â€œAnd so we circle back to the broken-toys allegory.” He looked blank, so I guessed he didn’t remember. I went on.