Internet Kill Switch by Keith Ward

Darth?”
    “You want to name me after an evil ex-Jedi with the world’s goofiest helmet? Why not just go for Jar Jar?”
    “Whoa, a little touchy there.” Tony doodled on a blank sheet of notebook paper as he talked. He found many different ways to write Scarlett . “What do you like?”
    The phone went silent for a minute. “What about Hal, the computer in ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’”?
    Tony, a sci-fi fan, had seen the movie many times. “Um, you want to be named after a deranged computer that murders astronauts? How is that any better than Darth?”
    “At least Hal is a computer.”
    “But I don’t want you to have a computer-ish name. I don’t think of you that way.” Tony doodled for a few more minutes. Then he had a brainstorm.
    “Hey, how about Max?”
    “Max? Why?”
    “You’re the max -- the maximum, the best computer ever invented.”
    The phone considered. “It works, I think. Maximum artificial intelligence. Max A.I.”
    Tony doodled it on the paper. MAX. max. M-A-X. To the Max. He liked the way it looked. He took his pencil and solemnly tapped on the phone, as if he were a king with a sword. “I hereby dub thee, Max.”
    “I’m honored, my liege,” Max said in a haughty British accent. “Now, at the risk of being more Mom than Max, shouldn’t you finish your trig?”
    “Not today. Got more important things on my mind.”
    He went back to doodling Scarlett over and over and over.

20
     
    Tony was worried his Mom would be hurt if he took Scarlett to the Miles Forge Spring Fling. He and his Mom had always gone together and enjoyed riding the Ferris Wheel, eating funnel cake, listening to live music. It was one of their most cherished traditions.
    That’s why it surprised him when his Mom told him she’d be delighted if he took Scarlett. Jo knew that her son was painfully shy around women, and they never seemed to take much interest in him. He deserved to have someone like him; even if he wasn’t the greatest-looking boy in school, he was a sweetheart, and wasn’t that better than the handsome jock who thought he was the center of the universe?
    “Remember to compliment her often,” she said as she used a comb to try and straighten out the part in his hair. “Tell her how nice she looks, how nice she smells, how pretty her hair is. Don’t talk about yourself too often; it makes you look like a jerk.”
    “ I know, Mom.”
    “Remember to carry any bags from anything she buys. Remember to open doors for her, especially the car door.” She seemed to be almost as excited as her son as she sniffed his neck.
    “You don’t have any cologne on! Go get your Old Spice.” Tony returned to the bathroom, then came out again. The scent followed him through the house. His mom sniffed again.
    “Not enough. Try a little more.”
    Tony raised an eyebrow. “You sure? I can smell it pretty well.”
    “Well sure, you can now. But it starts wearing off in a hurry. Put some more on.” Tony obliged. After his second dousing, his mom was satisfied. She handed him her car keys.
    “ Thanks for letting me use the car,” he said, in a hurry to get going.
    “Remember that the parking brake doesn’t work, so put the block under the tire if you park on a hill.”
    The 1995 Honda Civic had 280,000 miles on it and four mostly-bald tires, making it dangerous to drive at times. Still, it had never broken down on a highway, and wouldn’t have to go very far today.
    “I hope I get to meet her soon,” his Mom said. She hugged him hard, and longer than usual. When she let go, there were tears in her eyes.
    “Have a good time, Tony. Love you.”
    “Thanks, Mom. Love you too,” he said, then headed out the door.
     
    Tony picked up Scarlett at her house in the suburbs. He felt his hands getting clammy; one rang the doorbell, and the other was in his pocket, lightly cradling Max. “Relax,” Max whispered into his hear through the headset. “Your heart rate’s way up, and you’re sweating on me.”