It's Got A Ring To It by Desconhecido(a) Page A

didn’t answer, but I knew her answer. I love my mother for what
she doesn’t say, almost as much for just being herself. Her worrying is rooted
in love and her silence lies in the adage by which she lives, If you don’t have anything nice to say, then
don’t say anything at all . For his cowardice, she despise
d
him as much as I d
id
. Though, she never cared
for him, but settled on respecting my choice.
    An echoing beep sounded in my ear. “Hold on Mom.” Call waiting.
    “This is Laila .”
    “Hello. Myles Donovan, please,” a woman breathed through the phone.
The words were simple enough, but sounded a little too sultry to be calling
from a bill collector. I’d only seen him the once, but it pissed me off
nonetheless. I didn’t care how hot he was, he’d really taken it to a new level
of rudeness. Now he was giving my number our to women, too?
    Any manners I had went right out the window with Myles’ audacity. I
didn’t even have the decency to tell her she had the wrong number. Under the
boiling of my heated blood, I just hung up and tried without success to regain
my composure.
    “Mom, I’m back,” I huffed through the phone and continued filling her
in on the date. “Anyway, he was a real nice guy, but I couldn’t get over him
looking like Ethan. It was so embarrassing. In the middle of the kiss, I
realized he could’ve been his twin. The thought of recycling the last ten years, literally repulsed me and my gag reflex kicked in. I
nearly hurled on him. All I could do was thank him for the date, apologize, and
run out. I felt so bad. The poor man was perfectly nice, but he got punished
for being a body double. This morning, I left him a message online and
explained why I left, apologized for the millionth time and shamefully
discontinued my online membership.”
    “Didn’t you know what he looked like beforehand? Why’d you agree to
go on the date in the first place?”
    “That’s the thing. He didn’t have a picture posted, but the website
said we were compatible. At like
ninety-nine percent
, too. I’m so
bummed. I’m thinking , this is a sign that I need to
just be patient and wait for it to happen the old-fashioned way.”
    “I’ve been telling you that all along, Laila .
That’s the way we did it. In my day, they didn’t have these computerized meet
markets and such. Men courted women. I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead.
It’ll happen when you stop thinking about it.”
    Physically exhausted from rehashing the story for a second time,
since Lena pried it out of me hours beforehand, I had to change the subject or
hang up on her. I chose the former. “Let’s talk about something else. So, you
ready for the heat? You guys still having that neighborhood block party next
week?”
    And just like that, the tinge of worry in her voice faded. “I don’t
think I’ll ever be ready for the summer heat here. I’ll take what’s left of May
and savor it for its scattered showers and breezes because June is set to have
record highs this year. It’s going to be unbearable. You remember Doris, my
friend from Chicago? Well, she is having the hardest time with the weather now.
I haven’t a clue how she’s going to make it through the rest of the summer. Did
I tell you about her? Lord, that woman can gossip. She said , she caught her friend Lucy from the homeowner’s association flirting with the
postman. It’s no wonder none
of
her children look
alike
. That Lucy is a rolling stone in every
sense of the word. She got her breast done with silicone implants and one of
them hardened up on her. She ended up having all this pain and having one
breast for a week
.
”
This is the mother I know and love and steer clear of when she’s on her
gossiping rant.
    I imagined her comfortable as ever in her favorite leopard chair,
feet propped up on her tufted red velvet ottoman, settled and ready for hours
of yapping. A full cup of coffee and
B
ailey’s, or given the hour, a glass of red
wine.
    Mom