Jay Walking by Tracy Krimmer

think about my misery? "He wants to see James. He asked to meet him."
    "I told you. I knew it." She snaps her fingers in victory. "Are you going to let him?"
    "I'm not sure yet. My parents aren't happy with me at all. My dad thinks he'll hire a lawyer."
    "Do you think he will?"
    "I don't know." I'm not about to admit I'm scared shitless he might. I don't think James will be taken away from me. That's ridiculous. But I don't want to lose any time with him, and I definitely don't want him to be confused with Daniel in and out of his life. "My dad wants to talk to a lawyer so at least someone is waiting on the sidelines should we need one."
    We round the block back to our office building. "I need to be honest, I agree with your dad. I think it's a good idea."
    "I don't agree. I doubt Daniel will take it that far." I imagine sitting in a courtroom while Judge Judy accuses me of breaking up Daniel's marriage, and I shoot back about how he used me and led me on. James sits in the courtroom and she takes one look at him and decides it's best he stays with me. Everything is surreal. "I really don't," I say.
    "But you can't be too sure."
    The uncertainty is what I don't want to think about because that's what scares me most.

chapter twelve

    The scale rests in front of me, taunting me with its big fat zero on the screen. My walking program began almost three weeks ago, my body feels amazing, and my energy level is insane compared to the past few years. I never realized how awake and alive I could feel!  
    This morning I take all my clothes off. I want to weigh myself completely naked, with nothing extra adding to the scale. I step on and close my eyes, terrified of what the number will be. What if nothing changed? What if I'm exactly where I started? I'm only a few weeks in, but no change at all will suck. Even worse, what if I gained weight? Oh my God! The possibility never even crossed my mind until this pivotal moment.
    None of it makes a difference. I have to look. I mean, I don't have to - no one is holding a gun to my head, and I always hear it's best to measure success based on how clothes fit, but I want obvious progress. I take a deep breath and with a pounding heart, open my eyes and stare at the number. I lost two pounds! Not huge, by any means, but it's still two whole pounds! I clap my hands and hop off, wanting to squeal, but I don't want to get overly worked up about it.
    Today Jay is going for a run and he suggested I meet up with him, and he'll walk with me back to my house. I enjoy these little walks and our friendship is developing nicely. The more often we're together, the more I want it to turn into something more. Technically, these are dates, I think, but we haven't officially categorized our relationship.
    Today is the first day I see Jay in running shorts. Usually he runs in lightweight track pants. His legs are strong, his thighs rock hard, his calves defined. The shirt he's wearing is soaked, and I'm glad I got a front row seat to this wet tee shirt contest. Sweat glistens over his face, redness throbbing through his cheeks. I love how his hair springs into a few curls when damp.
    This walk is much needed after the events unfolding with Daniel. We've been lucky and he hasn't contacted me again. Yet. My dad asks every few days if I heard anything and I'm pretty convinced he's waiting on the edge of his seat for Daniel to bombard us with custody papers. I hate living every day like this. At least if I ignored his original message, our lives wouldn't be spent sitting around anticipating a battle. Seeing Jay finally takes my mind off this.
    "How was your run?" I ask Jay as he slows down to meet my pace, and I tell myself to divert my eyes from his chest to his face.
    "Awesome," he says as he pulls the ear buds out of his ears. "I got about four and a half in."
    Four and a half miles ? I can't even fathom that. I'm happy with the two mile walk I do every day. I figure soon I'll graduate to three, and eventually