J.D. Trafford - Michael Collins 03 - No Time To Hide by J.D. Trafford Page A

introduction to my theories of QCD and hair.”
    “Why would an adult want to read a children’s book about quantum physics?”
    “Why do adults like to bounce on trampolines?” Kermit countered. “Because it’s fun, muchacho. That’s why we do it.” Kermit slapped his hand on the table. “Do you ever play ‘crack the egg’ on a trampoline?”
    Armstrong clenched his jaw. “No.”
    “Well, it’s hilarious.” Kermit laughed. “Anyway, this book is titled ‘Why Too Much Hair Down There?’” Kermit paused and smiled, letting the revelation of his amazing idea linger for a moment in the U.S. Customs interrogation room. “Great title, huh?”
    “Are you actually talking about —”
    “Pubic hair.” Kermit answered. “Through the use of humorous illustrations, this book charts our society’s recently developed aversion to pubic hair and why this war is actually depleting our energy and ability to find inner happiness.” Kermit touched one of his dreadlocks, believing that it would change the magnetic field of the room in his favor.
    “Of course it all started with ‘Sex and the City’, season 3, episode 14.” Kermit smiled. “You remember that one?”  
    Armstrong shook his head. “I’m not familiar with that one.”
    “I can tell you all about it.” Kermit opened his mouth to describe a Brazilian wax, but stopped himself, sensing an opportunity. “Or you could just let me go.”
    Agent Armstrong stared at Kermit. The room was silent as the two evaluated their options. Finally Armstrong lowered his head in defeat. The possibility of an extended conversation with Kermit Guillardo about pubic hair was too much.
    “We’re done.” Armstrong turned and opened the door. “Get out of here.”

 
     
     
    CHAPTER TWENTY
     
    It was jacket weather. Although the rocks at the top of the canyon still radiated heat from the previous day, the bottom was cool. The early morning wind also added a chill at odds with the desert surroundings.
    Cheeto crouched at the edge of the river. He finished washing the remaining breakfast dishes, while Andie and Michael laid their packs down in a pile of gear. Then they helped the others fill the large waterproof bags and load the rafts.
    They pushed away a little after eight in the morning. The river’s current pulled them out slow, and then they started to paddle. There were two rafts, each with eight people in a raft.
    Andie and Michael rode with a newly married couple on their honeymoon, a middle-aged couple from Chicago, and a Japanese exchange student. Cheeto guided them all from the back.
    The other raft was louder. It was filled with Tri-Delts from the University of Texas at Austin and a female guide from Boseman, Montana. The female guide was the opposite of the sorority girls in every conceivable way, but unlike high school, she was now being paid to tolerate the gaggle of queen bees.
    The two rafts followed the gentle river for an hour, and then the guides steered them toward shore.  When they got close to a rocky wash-out, Cheeto and the female guide steered the rafts to shore. They jumped off the back. Each splashed through the shallow water, grabbing the handles along the side and at the front of the raft and pulling hard until the rafts were beached.
    Everybody got out, stretched their legs, and took the opportunity to jump around.
    Although they couldn’t see them, the group heard the churning waters of a series of rapids called “Rock Slide.” Huge boulders had fallen a long time ago and created the most difficult water in this portion of the canyon. If crews didn’t paddle hard enough through the middle, the raft would flip amidst the whitewater and whirlpools.
    Cheeto finished talking privately with the other guide, and then he turned to the group, clapping his hands to get their attention.
    “Okay,” he said. “This is it. We make it through this, and then it’s an easy drift to our final destination.”  Cheeto looked at the sorority