Kaleidoscope by Ethan Spier

looked over to the far corner of the hall and saw Lewis sitting on a table by himself. He had barely spoken to anyone before the funeral at the church and his appearance had dissuaded anyone from approaching him. He was sitting with a glass of water, staring into space with red eyes. Kelly was trying to determine if his eyes were red from the tears or from the obvious hangover. She had said hello to him outside the church after the service and smelt the pungent odour of alcohol that followed him. He had replied but his thoughts hadn't been in the moment, they were light-years away.
    She picked up her glass of orange juice, walked over to his table and sat down next to him. He didn't look up and appeared to be unaware of her arrival.
    "How are you?" she said softly.
    Lewis's eyes flicked up and acknowledged Kelly, but he said nothing. He sipped his water and continued to gaze at the surface of the table. The black suit he was wearing covered an ill fitting white shirt, which had a button missing at the top and his tie hung loosely around his neck.
    "You're not the only one who misses her you know," Kelly said in a sharp whisper. The words came out with a harshness that surprised her and she saw that Lewis was also surprised by them as he looked up. They locked eyes for a few moments but still Lewis said nothing. After a moment he turned away.
    "I'm sorry," Kelly said. "I know how close you were to Hannah. I don't know why I said that. But Lewis, seriously, being this way isn't doing you any good. You can't go on like this; drinking yourself into oblivion."
    Lewis closed his eyes for a long time before opening them again and turning back to Kelly. "I'm sorry too. I just..." He paused as he glanced around the hall at all the other people who were dressed in dark colours, talking quietly and consuming the buffet. "...I just can't stop thinking about her. Not just her, but everything. Something just doesn't feel right; this wasn't supposed to happen."
    "Is this about what we discussed the other day? Lewis, you need to get over all this, they've got the man that killed her. There's nothing more we can do now. Obsessing over all this isn't going to bring Hannah back."
    Lewis shook his head, "I know, I know."
    They sat in silence for a while but it felt comfortable; the silence hanging between them like a net and allowing the captured thoughts to linger.
    "Are you looking for a job now?" Kelly finally asked.
    "I should be," Lewis replied, staring into space. "I can't seem to find the energy at the moment to be honest."
    "I think you should start looking, it'll help to get your mind off all this."
    Lewis nodded but wasn't sure Kelly was right; he didn't feel like anything would be able to take his mind away from this nightmare. He looked at all the faces in the room and his eye fell on a woman staring at him from the other side of the hall. It was Hannah's mother and he saw her work a thin smile in his direction and gestured for him to come over.
    "I'm just going to speak to Hannah's mum, I'll see you later."
    Kelly nodded and offered her own smile. "I hope you feel better soon."
    Lewis thanked her then walked through the crowd of guests and over to the middle aged woman.
    "Lewis," she said as he approached and threw her arms around him. After they separated, she took a step back and looked at him up and down. "You look terrible."
    Lewis managed a smile as he looked down at his clothes. "I'll take that as a compliment." He paused, not really knowing what to say and shuffled uncomfortably on the spot. "How is everything?" he asked finally, cursing himself inside for asking such a question.
    "Coping. It isn't like reality at the moment; almost as if it hasn't really sunk in... I'm dreading the moment when it does." She blinked away some tears and then appeared to consciously gather herself. "Listen, we've still got to go through some of Hannah's things and... well you knew her better than anyone. We were just wondering if you wanted to