do with the business accounts. It will be damn near impossible for you to run this farm into the ground. Everythingâs been taken care of. Thereâs a fund for wages for the next five years, funds for everything under the sun. We need to set up a meeting with the broker, who is going to educate you on the different holdings. Maud was . . . is insistent on that. You ask all the questions you want until you understand everything. Now, is it okay if I drink from this bottle?â
âOnly if you let me have the first drink,â Nealy shot back.
âDone!â Jess said as he handed over the bottle.
6
Nealy watched with tears in her eyes as the ambulance attendants wheeled Maud into the house and then into Carmelaâs small apartment off the kitchen on the first floor. The housekeeper had moved to the second floor a week after Maudâs stroke. It had been Jessâs idea to switch the rooms, saying it would make it easier on everyone. Nealy had done her best to take away the hospital atmosphere of the room with the hospital bed, medication bottles, charts, and the nurse herself by bringing down the pictures from Maudâs room and re-hanging them. Sheâd gone to the florist in town and had brought back some green plants the doctor frowned on, along with some knickknacks the nurse said she wasnât dusting. Emmie watered the plants and dusted every other day. The florist delivered fresh flowers daily. There was nothing she could do about the sick smell to the room except open the windows from the top for a little fresh air.
Today was, according to Jess, the last time he was subjecting Maud to the ambulance trips to the local hospital for weekly testing, citing Maudâs fear of hospitals. âWhat will be will be.â Maud had blinked her acceptance of his decision early on, heâd said. The consensus now was that everything that could be done had been done, and the only thing left to do was to see to Maudâs comfort.
Three long, agonizing weeks had passed since Maudâs stroke. While her condition hadnât worsened, it hadnât improved either. The doctor stopped by daily. Jess said he didnât know why, since he didnât do a thing except take Maudâs blood pressure. âHeâs doing it for the money,â Jess had said sourly. Nealy decided he was probably right.
Nealyâs gaze sought out Jess, who was hovering near the hospital bed. To her untrained eye, he had gone downhill steadily since Maudâs stroke. His once-robust frame seemed shrunken now, his steps slower, his face almost as gaunt and haggard as Maudâs. Nealy knew he wasnât sleeping, and he barely ate enough to keep him alive. On more than one occasion sheâd woken and tiptoed into Maudâs room in the middle of the night to see him sitting by the side of the bed, whispering or talking to his wife with his fingers.
Satisfied that Maud was settled and comfortable, the nurse in attendance, Nealy reached out to Jess, and whispered, âLetâs go for a walk, Jess. Just once around the house. You need some fresh air, and itâs snowing out. You know how you love snow. Emmieâs down at the barn, and this is our quiet time. Maud is sleeping. I donât think she would want you to be giving up, and you are giving up, Jess. Please donât let Maud see that.â
âSheâs not going to get any better,â Jess said as he slipped into his denim jacket. âI always thought Iâd be the first to go since Iâm older. Iâm having a hard time with this. Nothing seems to matter anymore. Why is that? The farm should count, the horses should count, but they donât. I donât give a good ratâs ass about another Derby winner. Maud doesnât care anymore either. I know she doesnât. She wants to die. I see it in her eyes. What in the damn hell kind of life is blinking to communicate? She canât hear, she can only see out of
John Steinbeck, Richard Astro