Laid 2 Rest Two Halves of a Whole by Melanie Rose Page B

bullshit. If he had not left his phone at home by accident one day, I never would have known what kind of douche-bag he truly was. I’d given him chance after chance, after freakin’ chance to come clean, but he preferred to take it to the grave with him.
    So being the kind of woman I am, I had to enlighten him to the simple fact that we wouldn’t be getting past that roadblock until he was honest with me and told me the whole story. I wasn’t settling for anything less than that… I deserved that much! I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
    So, as you’ve probably already guessed, we’ve been stuck in limbo ever since then. I think my husband seriously believes that I will let it go eventually, but anyone that truly knows me can tell you that I’m not really the forgiving kind.
    Once that bridge is burnt… expect it to stay burnt the hell up because I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business!
    I was a true believer that if you do not have trust… you don’t have anything and I couldn’t trust his ass .
    Growing up, I witnessed first hand how lying and cheating not only ripped a marriage to shreds, but the entire family suffered from the ill effects as well. I watched helplessly while my mother carved up my father my whole life. For as long as I could remember, he went unappreciated as he fought to win back her attention, but could never quite fully obtain it. It was a cruel game she played with him and over the years, I had grown more and more disgusted by it.
    How do you find any kind of pleasure in toying with a person’s emotions like that? At times, I used to beg my dad to leave her, to just walk away and find someone who would love and cherish him the way that he deserved to be.
    “ I can’t leave you guys with her because I don’t know what would become of you kids. ” He used to tell me.
    Since my mom was Filipino, a part of him was always afraid that she would kidnap us someday out of spite and hide us there where he wouldn’t be able to locate us.
    I wouldn’t have put it past her ass either!
    She was capable of just about anything and making sure he never saw his children again, would have been the cherry on her sundae.
    Therefore, he stayed and suffered everyday for the sake of his kids. He truly was a great man. An honest to God’s definition of what a father should be, but the whole situation still took its toll on me… if it weren’t for my brothers and I, my dad would have walked away a long time ago. It was because of us that he remained married to the wicked witch of this story and even though it was his ultimate decision to stay with her, it didn’t change the fact that I felt guilty about it because it robbed him of any hope of finding true happiness while he was still on this earth.
    When my father passed away, my relationship with my mother and older brother became so strained that I ended it as well. It pains me to admit that I lost three members of my family at that time, not just one. Some of the things that they did and said after my father died were unthinkable… unforgivable .
    My dad’s body wasn’t even cold yet, when she started to pack up and throw away all of his clothes. It never occurred to her that something so little could profoundly cause Joel and I so much pain. She got rid of his stuff as if it was yesterday’s trash just so she could have more closet space.
    I simply couldn’t take it anymore. Reaching the end of my rope, I shut both of them out of my world, unable to stand by and watch anymore. Plus, it was better for all parties involved that I remove myself from the equation before I actually choked someone out. All that stress and drama wasn’t healthy for me. They were toxic and I needed to grieve for my father in my own way… SOLO!
    So that was exactly what I had done. It is said that time heals all wounds, but I’ll be impressed if any amount of time can diminish the appearance of all my nasty looking scars my upbringing had