Let's Be Mature About This BN by Renee LaRuse Page A

Gavin wished he hadn’t said them over the phone.
    “I love you, too,” Sydney answered softly, holding back tears.
    He had to see her. “Sydney, just stay awake for a few more minutes. I’m coming over.” He hung up and raced his way over to Sydney and Ms. Lenton’s house. Sydney was there to open the door for him. He could tell she had been crying but she was smiling up at him and he just wanted to hold her and be with her so badly. She was wearing pink sweat shorts, a white tank top, and her hair was wrapped up in a scarf but she still looked the goddess that she was, the warm brown skin of her legs, arms, her neck and her face glowing under the starlight as she stood in the doorway.
    They pulled each other close and tight leaving no space between them. All they felt was the warmth of thighs to thighs, stomach to stomach, chest to chest. His hand traveled under her tank top to feel the smooth warm skin of her waist. The touch sent shivers down her spine. Her hands became buried in the soft hair of his head as he kissed her at her throat and his lips traveled down leaving a trail of kisses. He was moving them back from the doorway and into the house and then his mouth found its way to land a kiss right over her heart, on the rise of her breast. Sydney tugged at his hair to pull his face up to hers. She knew what he was doing. She knew he was trying to maneuver them into her bedroom. She met his eyes. “You know I can’t. Remember?”
    Gavin’s grip on her loosened a bit and he looked away from her and down at her exposed shoulder. He nodded slowly and then kissed her on the shoulder. Then he drew himself from the embrace leaving her suddenly chilled by the central air in the living room. He backed away and then turned around to head out the door. Sydney stood and watched, speechless, as he sauntered towards the front door. Then he turned back around, walked up and put his lips on hers. “I love you,” he said. Sydney nodded and Gavin left the house. 
     

 
    CHAPTER TEN
     
    Gavin felt like utter garbage. How many relationships could he screw up in one evening? He thought to himself that Jay was right; he really was self absorbed. If he hadn’t been only thinking of how it felt for him to hear Sydney say those three words and how much he wanted to be with her in every sense of the word that night, then maybe Sydney wouldn’t have felt like he hadn’t taken her wishes seriously. He hoped she didn’t feel like he didn’t want to see her. That was far, far from the truth. It was because he wanted her so badly that he had to get away, leave her house, and distance himself for a while. He didn’t know which was more tortuous: not being able to hold her or being there to hold her and thinking about doing too much more.
    To top it off, that Saturday would be their first month anniversary and he had something big planned. Maybe if he kind of avoided seeing her for a week he’d have time to cool down and attempt to dull the vivid images of her out of his head. He was sure seeing her on Saturday wouldn’t help with that, but the day of their one month anniversary wouldn’t be a day he could avoid. Besides, he couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she saw her anniversary gift.
     
    ***
     
    Ever since I exchanged those life altering words with Gavin on Sunday night I was getting the sense that he was avoiding me. I mean, I talk to him every night on the phone, but if I want to go out to dinner, or a movie, or just simply veg out on the couch in front of the television with him there is always some excuse. Plus, the way he left Sunday night has me confused. He left a bit abruptly, but he made sure to reassure me that he loved me. What does that mean? Was he trying to let me down easy? Do I say something or do I give him time to tell me what’s going on? I hate this!
    The next thing you know, it’s Friday night, the day before our one month anniversary and he hasn’t called me all day. Am I clingy if