Living in Shadow (Living In…) by Jackie Ashenden Page B

forever?
    Perhaps that explained his intensity, his determination. Perhaps he was searching for meaning.
    “Why did you tell me that?” she asked hoarsely.
    “Because you need something from me and I don’t know what it is. But I want to give it to you.” He shifted on the couch again, his hand sliding up behind her knee, thumb continuing to stroke “I don’t want you to be scared, Eleanor. I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I don’t want you to be afraid of this… Because I think you want it as badly as I do.”
    Yes she did. But it was difficult to contemplate that after what he’d revealed and with the fear that was coursing through her. Where there was a voice in her head telling her she was making the same mistake she’d made all those years ago. When she’d let Piers take control.
    The way he’s still in control now…
    She blinked and tore her gaze from Luc’s, staring down at her skirt, suddenly cold all over.
    Was he? Was Piers really still in control of her? Even eight years after their marriage ended.
    You know he is.
    She closed her eyes, grief catching in her throat. The violence she’d experienced wasn’t comparable with what had happened to Luc, and yet that determined look in his eyes showed he was strong despite it.
    Why couldn’t she be that way? What had happened to her strength?
    She was supposed to be the professor, the one in charge, the one with authority. She’d thought she was strong. But not compared to him she wasn’t.
    “This is a mistake,” she said thickly. “I shouldn’t have agreed to meet you, Lucien. I’m sorry.”
    His hand moved up her spine, to the back of her neck, gripping her. And she couldn’t help herself, she froze.
    “Look at me,” he said, steel in his voice.
    She trembled, her eyes shut, not wanting him to see.
    His fingers tightened on the back of her neck. “Look. At. Me. Eleanor.”
    The command was irresistible. She opened her eyes, lifted her head and met his gaze.
    He didn’t say anything, merely looked at her. And she felt like she could fall into the velvet blackness of his eyes forever.
    Luc reached for her, his hands gripping her waist, hauling her into his lap. The movement took her utterly by surprise so she had no time to protest, no time to think. One moment she was getting ready to leave, the next she was being held in his arms. He reached up to the back of her head, pulling out the pins in her bun and scattering them everywhere, running his fingers through her hair so it fell down her back and over her shoulders. Then he gripped it tight in his fists and held her steady.
    And he kissed her. Hard.
    For a moment she was absolutely rigid in his arms. Then her mouth opened beneath his and all that heat and passion he’d tasted earlier that day came flooding out.
    She kissed him like she was desperate. Like she was escaping from something.
    Perhaps it had been wrong to take her like this, but he’d had enough. He could see her fear, could sense it running through her like a current of icy water in a warm tropical sea. Maybe it had something to do with that marriage she’d talked about, he didn’t know. But one thing he was sure of: it went deeper than all the professor/student shit.
    Earlier in the day, a kiss and a hand on the back of her neck had broken through that fear. So he’d made the decision, even before she’d arrived at the bar, to take control again. She’d told him she didn’t want to think. And shit, he could help her with that.
    Dominance games weren’t something he’d indulged in with women, though he’d been asked. They were reminders of what he’d seen in the militia, of how men in positions of power could abuse people, women especially. His control and his detachment were all that had separated him from those fucking animals and he had to keep hold of both.
    Yet it seemed like she needed this from him. In which case, to hell with his own qualms. Maybe tonight he’d let go of his rules so he could give her