Losing Battles by Eudora Welty Page B

his safe. Was it your idea to rob him?’ ‘No sir,’ Jack says, ‘just to aggravate him.’ ‘Yet all that was in the safe managed to get out, vanish, disappear, melt away, never to be found,’ says the Judge.”
    “Ain’t Percy grand? He gets ’em all down pat,” said Aunt Birdie. “I wish I was married to him,” she told Uncle Dolphus. “He’d keep me entertained.”
    “Oh, I wish you could have been there, Cleo!” Uncle Noah Webster cried again into her face.
    “I’d been sitting with Mr. Stovall and pulling for the other side,” she reminded him.
    “ ‘The picture I get’s a familiar one,’ the Judge says. Soundsnot far from mournful about it, though. ‘You folks around Banner trade at Stovall’s store, vote him into office, and raise the roof when you feel like it.’ “ Uncle Noah Webster smiled.
    “And keep coming back some few miles to do it,” aded Uncle Percy. “Though the Saturdays now is few and far between.”
    “And if you don’t give Curly your vote, what happens to your store credit? I don’t know what could be easier to understand,” said Uncle Dolphus.
    “ ‘Baiting the storekeeper and thumbing your nose at the peace officer,’ Moody says. ‘Blessed with Excell Stovall, Banner is able to accomplish both at the same time.’ ”
    “Moody didn’t know any of that for sure—how could he?” said Uncle Dolphus. “He just makes a living off of guessing. Gets paid for it. Bound to be lucky some time.”
    “And then it all comes out—what Moody’s up to,” quavered Uncle Percy.
    Miss Beulah in her kitchen yelled, “I’ll tell you! He made a monkey out of Jack.”
    “That’s right, Beulah. I can hear his voice right now.” Uncle Percy prettily piped: “ ‘How long will it take people to start showing some respect for those they have raised to office?’ ”
    “Whoa, I don’t know as I go along with that,” cried little Aunt Birdie.
    “Look first!” cried Aunt Nanny. “And see if it’s Curly Stovall!”
    “ Or Judge Moody!” they joined in.
    “Judge was bound to miss the gist, and he’s missed it now,” said Uncle Curtis.
    “That Judge Moody’s whole battle cry was respect . I don’t believe any of that courtroom was too well pleased. They wasn’t prepared for anything they hadn’t come to hear,” whispered Uncle Percy.
    “Why, I saw Curly baffled!” Uncle Noah Webster cried, and let out a laugh that sounded like reckless admiration.
    “ ‘You-all go right ahead taking things in your own hands. Well,’ says Moody, ‘I’m here today to tell you it’s got to stop.’ He says, ‘You can’t go knocking the law down if it gets in your way, you can’t keep on packing up the law in the nearest crate big enough to hold it’—nods at the coffin—‘and go skipping out the store with a safe, so-called’—nods at the mother-bird—‘and all without offering this court any better reason than “He’s aggravating.” Aggravating!’
    “ ‘Judge, I reckon to do justice to Curly, you got to see him in Banner,’ says Jack. ‘The best place is his own store, and the best time is Saturday.’
    “ ‘I’m doing the justice around here,’ says Moody. ‘When I need outside help, I’ll ask for it. What if he is aggravating!’
    “ ‘I’d like you to see him try cutting off your shirt-tail and nailing it to the beam before you make up your mind, sir,’ says Jack, still polite about it. He just gets the gavel.”
    “But didn’t you-all have a lawyer furnished to pull a better story out of Jack?” asked Aunt Cleo. “You can get those free.”
    “If that’s what you want to call the fellow,” said Uncle Curtis. “He was not there on my invitation, and I think I speak for the family. He got as much in the way as he knew how, I imagine. A good deal of what he said was drowned out. Never caught even his first name, doubt if I’d know him again if I was to see him coming.”
    “Well, when Moody finally pounds ’em quiet, he