Love and Decay by Rachel Higginson Page B

thank you for pointing out
Miller’s gender, but I’m pretty sure I’m familiar with it.” They
looked horrified again, so I immediately had to back track. “No,
not like that, you perverts. I just meant I’m well aware of his
guy-ness. But this thing with him, whatever it is, just started. We
know the risks. All the risks. And we’re not going to rush into
this without thinking everything through. Neither of us is ready
for a commitment or anything serious yet. We’re just… I don’t know…
we’re just feeling this out.”
    “Feeling what out exactly?” Hendrix
demanded.
    My blush deepened at least ten shades.
“ Us ,” I clarified. “We’re going slowly. Very, very
slowly.”
    “Because neither of you is ready for a
commitment?” Nelson clarified by dragging his words out, clipping
each consonant and in general making me very nervous. “Or anything
serious.”
    “Right.” His question was basically a repeat
of what I’d already said but somehow it sounded like a threat.
    “And you’re okay with that? Because sometimes
when guys say they’re not looking for a commitment what they really
mean is that they don’t respect you enough to get serious with you
even though they want to fool around with you.” When my glare
turned murderous, he added, “I don’t think Miller’s like that. But
I just want to make sure you’re okay with this mutual decision.” His tone softened just a touch. “Be honest with us,
Page.”
    “Of course I’m okay with that,” I told them.
“I’m the one that asked him to go slowly.” I turned away from them
to stare through the broken stained glass windows of the small
church we’d stumbled upon. “I’ve never done this before. I don’t
want to mess it up by jumping into something I’m not ready for.
Miller understands. He’s happy to give me space. And time.”
    They glared at me.
    “What?”
    Hendrix turned to Nelson. “What is with the
women we know and their fear of commitment?”
    Nelson snorted a laugh, “Speak for yourself.
Haley was more than happy to commit herself to me.”
    “I don’t have a fear of commitment,” I
argued.
    They ignored me. “What do expect, though?”
Nelson asked Hendrix. “Reagan and Tyler are two of the strongest
female influences in her life. Of course she’s going to be afraid
of commitment.”
    Hendrix let out an overdramatic sigh. “You’re
right. I don’t know what I was thinking when I allowed her to speak
to those women. Page would have been better off if we’d ditched
them in Missouri.”
    Now I knew he was just giving me a hard time.
Like Hendrix could have ever left Reagan somewhere. I wanted to
punch him for being so stupid.
    “You’re probably right,” Nelson agreed
solemnly. “But the damage is done now. Poor Miller.”
    “Poor Miller,” Hendrix commiserated.
    I snorted. “I think I know why Reagan and
Haley hesitated. You two are idiots.”
    Nelson grinned at me, “Haley never hesitated.
I think that makes only one of us an idiot.”
    Hendrix barked out a laugh. “Maybe we should
ask Haley about that before we take away your idiot card willy
nilly.”
    Nelson growled something profane and shoved
Hendrix off the table. Hendrix’s arms flailed and he tripped over
his feet, landing on his butt in an ungraceful heap. Nelson started
to laugh at him, but a sharp cracking sound split through the
echoing church. The unstable table legs had finally buckled beneath
my brothers’ weight and collapsed beneath them.
    The top of the table dropped to the ground,
crushing the already broken legs beneath it. Nelson howled in
surprise and pain. Hendrix dissolved in laughter while Nelson
hurled curse words at Hendrix.
    I took the opportunity to help them.
    Just kidding. I got the hell out of
there.
    I stepped into the warm afternoon air. The
sun hung high in the sky, beating relentlessly on the barren
landscape.
    Even for my life, the scenery over the past
few weeks had been heavily on the desolate side.