Love & Decay, Episode 11 by Rachel Higginson Page A

“Why?”
    “Because you’re worth it. Because I want to do this right. I don’t just want to push us into something we’re not ready for simply because we have the time and availability.”
    I wiggled on his lap just to torture him, “You’re not exactly pushing me.”
    He gripped my hips to keep me from moving anymore. “Do this for me? Please?”
“Only if you tell me why.” That threat was a lie. I didn’t think I would ever be able to say no to
    him when his eyes were windows into his very vulnerable soul and when he was asking me to trust him with something I had wanted to protect anyway. Besides that, he was asking me to give him control, to let him take over and lead me. That was the hardest part. It was easy to follow directions when my life was at stake, but I was starting to realize that control was one of the few things I had left to hang onto. If I gave Hendrix control in this relationship I had to give it up- and that was scary.
                  Terrifying.
                  “I’m asking a lot of you to trust me, Reagan. And more than that, I’m asking a lot of you to go into this relationship when we both know something could happen to either of us at any given moment. We don’t have a lot of security or safety to work with, we don’t have much time either. But I want to treasure this, I want to cherish you . I don’t want to start demanding pieces of you only because there might not be tomorrow. I want this… us to be a real relationship that works together and works hard to stay together. You’re it for me, Reagan. There isn’t an option for me to move on and find someone else. And I want to do this right. I want to treat you right without giving you reasons to walk away from me.”
                  My heart hammered in my chest and those dueling emotions were back- fear, panic, anxiety, and warmth, tenderness and overwhelming feelings of “Aw!”
                  “Also, that look,” Hendrix smiled up at me. “You had the same one on the way here. You’re not ready, babe. And I’m more than alright with that. Just having you with me is enough.” He tipped his mouth up and kissed the underside of my chin, his whiskers tickled and scratched at the sensitive skin and I trembled from the sensation. “For now,” he finished in a ragged whisper.
                  He had relaxed me enough that I mirrored his restrained desire, “For now.”
                  And then he dumped me on the floor, catching me just in time so my butt didn’t bruise. He grinned down at me and said, “Now we need to clean you up so people don’t get the wrong impression.”
                  “What’s the wrong impression?” I asked dubiously.
                  “That we just came in here to make-out.”
                  “Um, but won’t walking out of here in different clothes and freshly bathed give a worse impression?”
                  “Exactly.”
                  I wanted to ask a hundred more questions but I kept them to myself. Mainly because he started stripping… off his socks. I wasn’t that lucky apparently- at least not yet.
                  Hendrix opened one of the file drawers and revealed a stash of bottled water, an Irish Spring bar soap, a travel bottle of shampoo and a dusty package of washcloths. Score! He had also stashed away some new clothes for both of us.
                  “You’re awfully prepared,” I commented while pulling off my cami.
                  He stared unashamedly at my boobs and worked hard to swallow. “Uh, I had Haley bring this stuff in here during the rescue mission.”
                  “Ah,” I smiled.
                  Hendrix tore his gaze away from me as I stepped out of the huge jeans I’d borrowed from the bunker. He retrieved two tall buckets to catch the water. We