Love Hurts by Brenda Grate Page B

that?”
     
    “Because it’s true. I see it when I come home early and catch you doing something like reading or watching TV, things that you feel aren’t important. Or how about the times when you won’t talk to me at all? There’s something very wrong and I just want to help you.”
     
    Jilly’s entire body clenched while Gregg spoke. She balled up her hands beside her body. “I’m screwed up, that’s what you’re saying.”
     
    “No.”
     
    “Yes. And it’s true. I tried to get Anna to admit it, but she won’t, so why should I have to talk about it? Anna thinks everything is fine.”
     
    “Is it?”
     
    “No, yes … I don’t know.”
     
    “Jilly.”
     
    “What?” she shot back.
     
    “Please try.”
     
    “Dammit, Gregg, you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” The rage came out of nowhere, bringing fear with it. Where does this anger come from?
     
    “And why is that?” He folded his arms across his chest. “You won’t tell me what’s going on, so how can I know?”
     
    “I can’t talk about it, don’t you realize that?” She shoved her back against the headboard and folded her arms, fixing her gaze on the small picture of Matthew on the dresser.
     
    “It’s over, it’s been a long time. When are you going to be able to talk about it?” For the first time a hint of impatience crept into his voice.
     
    “Maybe never. Are you going to be able to live with that?”
     
    “Is that a threat, Jilly?”
     
    “Maybe.”
     
    Gregg shook his head and rolled onto his back. He stacked his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling.
     
    “Why does it matter so much? Why can’t you let it alone? It’s always, talk to me, tell me what happened. Why the hell do you want to know so bad? Are you writing a book?”
     
    “That’s not fair.”
     
    “What, and pushing me all the time is?”
     
    “Is that how you see it?”
     
    “Yes, that’s exactly how I see it.”
     
    “Okay, well, listen to how I see it.” He sat up and stuffed the pillow behind his back. “I see it as I have a wife I love desperately who has never quite learned to love and trust me back. She’s haunted by something in the past and I have no idea what it is or how to fix it. She’s both the strongest and the weakest person I’ve ever met and I’m constantly on the edge because I never know what’s coming next with her.”
     
    Jilly tried to interrupt, but Gregg held up his hand.
     
    “Let me finish. I love you, but after years of this, I want some resolution. I want to know that you’re going to start trusting me one day, that you will finally start to believe I love you as much as I say I do.”
     
    “It’s all about you, isn’t it?”
     
    “What?”
     
    “It’s all about you. You want me to trust you. You want me to believe you love me. It’s all about you.”
     
    “No, it’s about you. I love you and want you to be happy.”
     
    “You’re so noble, aren’t you?”
     
    “What? Why are you twisting this around to be what I didn’t mean? I’m trying to make our marriage better and you’re making me sound like an asshole.”
     
    “No, you’re doing a good job of that yourself.”
     
    Gregg threw his legs over the edge of the bed and got to his feet. He stared at Jilly.
     
    She backed herself into the farthest spot on the bed.
     
    Gregg shook his head and ran his hands through his hair until it stood straight up. “Why, why do you do this? I try to talk to you about something deeper than Matthew’s progress and you turn it into a fight.” When he moved toward the bed, Jilly jumped up and backed out the door.
     
    “Jilly, please.” Gregg moved to pull her into his arms, but she backed farther away and slapped at him.
     
    “For fuck’s sake, talk to me!” Gregg roared.
     
    She shoved him back and dashed down the hall and into the kitchen. She backed against the counter, waiting for Gregg to come after her, but he didn’t come. Her heart began