Love Means Courage - Andrew Grey by Andrew Grey Page B

you.”

    “Why didn’t you tell me?” He worried that he might have hurt her.

    She took his hand, squeezing it gently in hers. “Because it was more important at the time for you to know that it didn’t really matter to me, that I’d love you no matter what, and with time I understood. The thing is: you being honest with me meant you no longer had to hide, at least with me.”
    “That doesn’t really help me.” His head was starting to pound.
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    “Doesn’t it?” Len lifted his head as his mother spoke. “You need to be honest with yourself and those in your life. Remember how happy you were once Ruby knew and you could talk about things with her, and just be yourself without the hiding and the lying?”
    He sighed loudly. “Yeah, I do.” God, he missed her.
“Most people would tell you to be quiet and keep it to yourself, and to a degree that’s true. You don’t have to flaunt that you’re gay, but you don’t have to hide either. You need to decide how you want to live your life: scared and alone or open and honest.” She patted his knee and got up from the sofa. “Only you can decide what’s right for you, not me or anyone else.” She turned off the television. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She patted his shoulder gently, and then he heard her steps as she walked to her bedroom and closed the door.
    Len sat quietly without moving, thinking things over. He liked his job at the farm and didn’t want to lose it. It was hard work, but he was learning so much from Nicole, and he and the guys were becoming a team. They’d sold off most of the extra hay, and together he and Cliff had decided to hold off on the rest, particularly since they used some of the money to build the extra stalls in the barn.
    Word was already getting around, and they’d added another horse just yesterday, bringing the total to twelve, with four new horse stalls and two pony stalls almost ready. And tomorrow Cliff had an appointment at the bank, and he had asked Len to go along.

    The hardest thing was the way he was beginning to feel about Cliff. They’d worked together to build the new stalls, relocating Geoff’s sandbox nearby to keep him occupied.
    “Damn it, Len, practice what you preach. You gave Cliff grief 77
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    for hiding and living in his own world, while you’re doing the exact same thing.” With a small grunt, he lifted his work weary-muscles off the sofa and headed to bed. There was a lot to get done in the morning before their appointment at the bank.
    LEN woke at his usual time and quietly got ready for work, eating something, packing his lunch, and throwing an extra set of clothes in his car before driving to the farm. As usual, it was still dark when he arrived, but the horses were already active, and he turned them out in the pastures and began the constant job of mucking out stalls. He cleaned out the worst of the stalls and spot-cleaned the others before filling water troughs and feeding the few horses that stayed inside.
    At seven, he heard the barn door open, and the guys joined him for what had become their regular morning planning session. Len had told Cliff about these, but as yet, he hadn’t attended one. Len always gave him a recap when he saw him later in the day, though. “Before I forget, will one of you be able to stay close later this morning? I need to go into town with Cliff for a while.” Randy looked curious, but it was Fred who actually asked the question. “Does this have anything to do with the rumors going around town?”

    “Yes. We don’t know much right now, but I’m trying to help figure out what’s going on.” The guys nodded and seemed content with the answer, but Len continued. “I’ll ask Cliff to talk to you once he knows something.”
    “Thanks, Len.” The guys got to work, and Len went back to the stalls.
He liked to get the heavy work done early in the day when it 78
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was cooler. He was almost done