Maggie Get Your Gun by Kate Danley Page A

pretend you owed me, though.”
    “Don’t push it, buddy.”
    We made it inside the apartment and I slammed the door
closed behind us.  The vampire flung himself against it and the windows, but
the iron bars held the threshold.
    I slid down to the ground and rubbed my ankle.  Damned
rock.
    “Maggie, we cannot allow him to leave here alive,” said
Killian.
    “Killian, I can’t fight with this dumb ankle,” I said.  It
was turning a horrible shade of purple and was already swelling up.  Any old
witch doctor on the Other Side could have pointed their finger and healed me on
the spot.  Unfortunately, I only had an elf.  “Can you zap me and make it
better?”
    "I have long dreamed of having an opportunity to 'zap'
you, Maggie," Killian said, sounding like a man interrupted just before he
could bite into a hot Kobi burger, "But the healing magic to fix you requires
a boon, and unfortunately, if I died before it was collected, the boon would
pass along to my victor.”
    Meaning if something got Killian, I’d owe a favor to a
vampire.  And taking a wild guess, it wouldn't have been half as much fun.
    "I could not place you at such a risk..." he said
as he nailed me with his baby blues, clearly trying to figure out how big a
risk it actually was.
    "Take the risk!" hissed the vampire from the
window.
    "Shut up!" Killian and I shouted back.
    Fucking vampires.
    "Give me your stake,” Killian said, holding out his hand.
    “Come on, Killian, I can’t let you go out there," I replied,
trying to talk him down, "Can’t you just blast him from here with that
self-preservation magic you just fired off?”
    “It was a prepared spell I had constructed.  I do not have
another."
    "Oh, the mighty elf has no more magic.  He is trapped
with his whore and is scared like a baby," the vampire taunted, and then
started mumbling a little song and dance about how we were stuck in a hole and
he was going to kill us.  Great.  Death by dinner theater.  It was a new
strategy but surprisingly effective.
    "I'm shocked this didn't have a Broadway run," I
said as the vampire finished up a verse with something that looked dangerously
close to jazz hands.
    Killian shook his head, "If I had held off a few
moments longer to allow him to come closer, my magic might have inflicted some
damage…”
    “Listen, everyone has prematurely blown up a spell before
they meant to.  It’s perfectly normal.”
    “Do not make me feed you to the vampire, Maggie.”
    “We’ll wait him out until morning.  This’ll be fun!” I said,
pointed at a rusty bed post and a broken chair that were there in the hovel
with us.  “I’ll be like a slumber party.  A very, uncomfortable slumber party. 
With vampires.”
    “If we wait any longer, he will tell his master he found
us.”
    “Don’t use logic with me, Killian.”
    “You know I am speaking truth.”
    "He is!  I shall tell my master!  I shall tell my
master all about the little mousies I have caught!" the vampire shouted.
    I looked at Killian and sighed.  I was beat and this pain
in the ass vampire needed killing.  I pulled out my stake and handed it to him,
“Don’t get yourself dead.”
    He nodded.
    “And take this,” I said.  I spun the locks on my neckguard.
    “I cannot…” Killian started.
    I took it off and rubbed the scars a vampire had once given
me when I had tried to fight without protection, “I’m going to have a tough enough
time taking down one bloodsucker, let alone two if he turns you.  Consider it
an investment in my own long term survival.”
    Killian took it from me and clicked it into place.  He gave
me a nod and took a deep breath.
    "Hey!  Vampire!  Is that Vaclav?" I said,
pointing off at the horizon.
    Sure enough, our little thespian looked over to see if the
biggest director of vampire drama was catching this act.
    Killian had sucker punched him before the guy even had a
chance to figure out I'm an excellent liar.
    I heard the sound of scuffling and roars