Marie Sexton - Coda 02 - A to Z by Marie Sexton Page A

think of a reason to say no. Still, I’m a little nervous ’bout it. Always a little worried what’s gonna happen when somebody finds out I’m queer. Never sure if I’m supposed to pretend not to be or just not worry ’bout it.
    We stop by and round up Zach. He’s just gettin’ up and is thrilled ’bout the coffee. Matt leads us down to where his friend has a blanket, ’bout halfway up to the stage.
    Jared is Zach’s age. About five-ten, thin and wiry, but his legs are muscular. Wild, dark blond curls hangin’ all ’round his face. Blue eyes. Freckles across his nose. Reminds me of a surfer, ’cept of course we’re a hell of a long way from any waves. Cute as hell. And definitely queer.
    Matt sits next to him, hands him his coffee. I know I’m starin’. Tryin’ to think of a nice way to ask if they’re together. Never even imagined that Matt was queer, but now that I look, I can see he’s definitely sittin’ a little closer to Jared than any straight guy would. Must be been written over my face what I’m thinkin’, ’cause Jared suddenly smiles at me and says, “Nobody can ever tell with him.” Matt just rolls his eyes.
    Zach and Jared are immediately like best fuckin’ buddies. They gab for ages ’bout the other festivals they been to and the bands they know from previous years. Matt smiles at me. “See, this is going to work out well. They can listen to the music, and we can get drunk and nap.”
    They live in a small mountain town, less than an hour away. Matt’s a cop. Of course. Might as well have it tattooed ’cross his fuckin’ forehead. It seems so obvious. Jared’s a teacher. I can tell Zach’s a little bit jealous of their relationship, ’cause it’s clear as day they’re crazy ’bout each other. Still, Matt doesn’t seem the type. He and Jared keep razzin’ each other ’bout football, of all things. “You’re the straightest queer I ever met,” I say to him, before I realize I’m goin’ to.
He just shrugs, and Jared laughs. “It’s true Matt once suffered from a severe case of heterosexuality.”
     
I can’t help but laugh too. “Really? Didn’t know there was cure for that.”
    “I wasn’t so sure myself, but apparently there is.” He turns and looks at Matt. “What was it, anyway?”
“Jealousy.”
Jared’s eyebrows go up. “Really?”
    Matt reaches over and grabs a handful of Jared’s hair, then leans over to touch his lips to Jared’s neck, just below his ear. First time I seen him touch Jared at all, and now he’s practically kissin’ his neck, right in the middle of all those people.
    “I saw him touching you just like this,” he says, “and I knew right then that I never wanted another man to touch you like that again.” He kisses him then and says, “Nobody but me.”
Jared’s face is red with embarrassment, but he’s pleased too. “Cole never pulled my hair,” he says teasingly.
     
Matt laughs and lets go of him. “I knew there was something wrong with that guy.”
    It works out just like Matt said. Zach and Jared spend the whole day plannin’ which bands to watch, goin’ back and forth between the two stages, comparin’ who they like and who they don’t. Matt reads a lot, and I doze in the sun. When one of us gets too bored, we wander ’round the festival together a while, then take food and beer back for Zach and Jared.
Once, as we’re walkin’ ’round, I finally ask him the question I been dyin’ to ask. “You were straight before Jared?”
     
His cheeks turn red, but he says, “Yes. Or at least, trying very hard to be.”
     
“You really caught him with another guy? Let me guess—an ex-boyfriend?”
    He raises one eyebrow at me, and his mouth almost twitches into a smile. “Not exactly. Cole wasn’t an ex. More of a friend with benefits. A couple of months before that, on Jared’s birthday, of all days, I had a few beers and I came on to him. I didn’t really mean to. I know how stupid that sounds, but….” He