Maude by Donna Mabry Page A

cemetery only a few times over the
years since my parents’ burial. When we got there, I
was surprised by how sharp the memories were in my
mind. I had bad dreams about the fire that killed them
all my life, but not a one since Lulu was born.
Our family, friends, and fellow church members
clustered around the hole that had been dug, the
preacher said a few more words, we all dropped in our
handful of dirt, and then we prayed and left. As we
walked away, I could hear the sound of the dirt
thumping against the box as the men shoveled it into
the hole. The thud-thud of the work followed me all
the way down the path.
Neighbors brought food, and the house was full
of people for hours. The women of the church made a
fuss over us, and I finally made a show of eating
something, pushing food around on a plate. I realized
that James’s mother was doing the same thing. Finally,
everyone was gone. Helen and Tommy were the last to
leave. Helen hugged me. “I’ll be by tomorrow, hear?”
I watched her back as she went out the door and
then Mom Connor and I exchanged looks. I could see
my reflection in the mirror that hung by the door, and
both of us had dark circles under our eyes. Our faces
were lined with grief, and we were both worn out. I
gave her a hug. “I’m going back to the cabin unless
you need me to do anything for you.”
“I guess we’re all right, Maude. The Lord will
take care of us. We can face what we got to face. We
both need some sleep. You go take care of that baby,
and we’ll talk tomorrow.”
I carried Lulu back to the cabin and got her ready
for bed. Once she was sleeping, I took James’s shirt
back off the hook where he always hung it. I held it up
against my face and breathed deep. I always said he
smelled better than any man I’d ever been around. My
daddy smelled of leather and hay and the horses. James
smelled of the supply store, oats, alfalfa, soap and
grass.
I held the shirt to my face for a few minutes, then
put it on over my dress again and went back out to the
porch. I sat in the rocker and looked up at the sky. It
was getting dark. The moon was out early, and I could
see it on the tree line to my right, like it was stuck on
the top of a pine. The last rays of the setting sun filtered
through the tops of the trees on my left and made a
pattern of shadows on the yard. It was such a pretty
night, like the nights when James and I used to sit out
and talk until time to go to bed.
I sat there for a long time, rocking now and then,
sitting still some, crying at last. I had no idea what
would become of me and my little girl. I’d already
been an orphan, a wife, and a mother. Now I was a
widow. I was only three months past my sixteenth
birthday.

Chapter 9
    In 1908, there weren’t many things a young widow
with a toddler could do to make money and support
herself. I didn’t want to be a burden to James’s mom
and dad or to Helen and Tommy either.
    In my sixteenth year, I knew enough to know the
whole world was changing. I’d heard of automobiles
but never seen one. People were talking about a man
named Edison who’d invented an electric light that
was being used in the big cities, but not one house in
our town had electricity. Homes like Helen’s, with a
pump from the well that brought water right into the
house, were the latest thing in being modern and up to
date.
    The Connors treated me like their own daughter,
and they just showered their love on Lulu. They told
me I could stay in the cabin forever if I wanted, and
they said they prayed that we would. They even gave
me spending money when they could, but the year
after James died was a hard one, and a lot of the
farmers couldn’t pay their bill for the things they
bought at the store.
    Dad Connor’s health began to fail, and he had to
take on a hired man to replace what work James had
done. It made for a tight budget. I knew they weren’t
having an easy time of it, and I didn’t have the heart to
ask them for more money. In my