says, “I get that. Still, it’s kind of weird.”
Something moves in the distance, and my entire body becomes a knot. I suddenly have visions of Mallory walking up, having it out with Will right in front of me. I don’t know if I want them to make up or not—at least right now. Because then it really would be over.
I say, “So . . . why are you out here?”
Will reaches toward his back pocket. “I lost my wallet when the car got stuck. I just realized.”
He pauses, and I look at the ground, feeling bad for a moment. I kick at a rock and say, “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t think you guys would be stupid enough to follow me into the field.”
“Jeremy is pissed. They had to tow the car out.”
I can’t help it; I laugh. So does Will.
“I don’t know what he was thinking.” And then something switches on his face, like he realizes we shouldn’t be having such a casual conversation. “If you point me in the right direction, I’ll see if I can find it. You can get back to your, uh, alone time.”
I’m trying to mask my indecision: let him wander around by himself or go with him. Neither option is ideal, but I’m pretty sure I can’t convince him to leave without his wallet. So I tell him I’ll help him search for it, and he agrees after a moment of apprehension.
It takes only a few minutes before I see where the car entered the mud, as well as the wide swath carved when it was pulled out. As we walk up, I am struck by how perfect a place this would be to hide in a game of Snap! And then I’m worried because maybe Mallory is here, hidden in themud like a B movie commando. But as we pick our way through, both of us with our eyes down, her hand doesn’t come shooting up from the ground to grab our ankles. Still, I half expect to hear her voice in my ear, to win the game without Will’s ever knowing she was here.
“It could be anywhere,” Will says, bending over to squint at the ground for a moment before standing up. “Perfect. Exactly how this night should end.”
I walk softly, trying not to step on his wallet, at the same time making as much noise as possible just in case Mallory hasn’t figured out what’s happening yet. Saying his name whenever I address him and as loudly as I can without seeming even more weird. Every few seconds Will lets loose a shallow exhale. I can’t help myself.
“What happened between you two?” He sighs again, this time long and emphatic. Even in the limited light he looks scattered. “I don’t know. I thought everything was great. If she’d pick up the phone and listen to me, I’m sure we could figure it out.”
He pulls out his phone and gets ready to dial. I jump toward him and say, “Hey, good idea. Use that to find your wallet.”
I reach in my pocket and power down Mallory’s phoneat the same time. Too close. I walk over to him and say, “On second thought, you should probably do this in the morning. When you can see.”
“I need my wallet,” he says, and it doesn’t look like he’s in any hurry to leave. He walks slowly, bending over to check the ground like he’s on the beach hunting for shells. I try to tell him I need to go home and pack. When that doesn’t work, I take a shot and say he’s probably making it worse by walking around.
“You could step on it and grind it in. You’d never find it,” I say, hoping my logic penetrates his melancholy. Behind him, I think I see a shadow moving across the grass. When I look again, it’s gone.
He nods but doesn’t move. Instead, he stares at me for a long time, finally saying, “You’d tell me if she was here, right?”
“Yeah.” I’m unsure if the sick feeling in my gut is from the lie or the truth of her proximity. But he nods again and hesitates before offering his hand to me.
“Good luck.” He says it sheepishly, like I haven’t heard it before. Still, I shake his hand.
“She used to talk about you,” he says. “Not a lot, but every so often. She missed you, I think. Maybe