Merrick by Claire Cray Page A

a
vampire before…and you haven’t given me cause for fear.”
    He studied me
closely. His face was stone, his bright golden eyes fierce and calculating, and
for the first time I found it rather easy to believe that he was two hundred
and eighty-two years old.
    “You know very
well how to prepare tea,” he said at last, accusing.
    I kept my eyes on
the floor, at a loss.
    “What were you
trying to concoct?”
    As he waited for
me to answer, I found that I could not.
    “William, did you
mean to harm yourself?”
    “No, sir.”
    He paused, and
when I reluctantly met his eyes, I found them hard and resolute. “You will tell
me the truth or I will get it from you.”
    “Then you will
have to get it from me, sir,” I whispered miserably. “For I cannot speak it.”
    “For God’s sake,
William,” Merrick muttered, frustrated.
    “I beg you, sir,”
I said unsteadily without lifting my head. “Don’t send me back.”
    “There is no
chance of that,” he said. “But you will tell me why you mixed those herbs.”
    I swallowed. It
took me a moment to speak, and when I did my own voice sounded torn and
desperate. “Please, Master Merrick, I’ll do anything you ask of me if you will
let me stay. I cannot be sent back to the courts and—”
    “I said you will
not go back to those godforsaken courts!” he snapped. “Is your estimation of me
so low? Do you think I would have you back in shackles and your mother on the
street?”
    I bit my lips,
shaking my hanging head. At last I began to confess.
    “I don’t know
what’s come over me, sir.” I could not meet his eyes, and my voice was
half-choked. “Since I came here, I feel things I’ve never felt before – on my
mother’s name, I swear, never before.” I paused to collect myself,
feeling my shoulders tremble. “And I can’t bear the thought of…when you’ve been
so kind, to have you think ill of me, think me perverse, I…”
    Merrick spoke
softly. “What has this got to do with the wolf’s foot?”
    “I heard you
giving that girl a tea to ease her through her own…unwanted…desire, and I
thought I might well try and get some of the desired effects. It was stupid,
sir, I know that. But I didn’t mean to use the wolf’s foot…”
    “What did you think
would improve if you drank that tea?” Now he sounded truly baffled.
    “I thought at
least it might not get any worse,” I said, my voice retreating to a whisper. “I
might prevent myself from exhausting your patience with…”
    There was a
terrible silence. It felt like a century before he spoke.
    “You desire me,
William?”
    I could not force
myself to speak or move in reply.
    “You’re
trembling,” he murmured.
    “Can you help me,
as you helped that girl?”
    “You don’t need
help.”
    I looked up at
him, distraught. “Don’t need help, sir? I’ve tried, each day I’ve tried to
purge this…this…” I put my face in my hands again.
    Merrick was
looking at me with an expression somewhere between disbelief and exasperation.Slowly, he uncrossed his arms and closed the distance between us. Sinking
to one knee, he put his hands on my shoulders. “Look at me, William.”
    I reluctantly
lowered my hands and looked into his amber eyes, finding there the tender
patience I’d come to count on. A funny feeling touched my heart, perhaps a
flicker of hope that he would not cast me aside, would not turn away out of
disgust for my unseemly thoughts.
    “I am a vampire,”
Merrick said softly.
    I stared at him.
What did that have to do with anything?
    “I ride out at
night to find travelers, bite their necks, drink their blood and leave them
dead.”
    “Yes, I
understand.”
    “Had you suspected
this?”
    “It had entered my
mind as a possibility, sir.”
    “And you are
afraid that you offend my morals by…” He paused and raised his eyebrows,
speaking the next words slowly. “Finding me desirable?”
    I parted my lips
to speak, but found nothing suitable to say for a moment. It did