Midnight Curse by Faellin Angel Page B

can save you and you
can continue as you were, but not as you are.
    I don’t remember what I was.
Only what I am.
    That is not the point. You
have a choice to go back. You will not move on until you’ve made
the decision.
    Where would I move to should
I decide not to go back? There were more questions than answers,
something that seemed to matter little to me at the
moment.
    I can only tell you that
once you decide. You would be judged and then the decision would be
made. For now, you have the chance to go back.
    Did I want to? Why couldn’t
I remember? Was there a reason I should choose to go
back?
    Someone is doing everything
in their power to keep you with them. There are others who would
wish for you to stay with them, if they knew you were
gone.
    Who are they? Where were
they? How come I can’t remember them?
    I’ve said too much already.
The decision must be yours. I cannot say nor do anything that might
affect the decision in the least.
    Who are you? More questions
and not enough answers.
    I am no one. I am nothing. I
am everything. I am the living essence from which life and souls
are derived.
    You are God?
    I did not know how I knew
this word, but it was familiar. It was as if I had forgotten it
until the entity with me had spoken.
    No and yes. I am not God. I
am the thing that humans have labeled as God and misjudged. I am
the beginning. I am the end. I am the thing you would return to
someday. The thing you came from. I am life and death. I am the
cycle of life. I am animal and human, both and neither, and mother
and father. I am one with the air, fire, water, earth, and I am
spirit.
    Instantly I understood.
Instantly I knew that I loved this being. I knew this being loved
me. I also remembered. Bits and pieces flickered within my
thoughts, with no rhythm or rhyme. I had never chosen God, or a
Goddess, before I had died. I had only gone along with my elders
with whatever they’d chosen, but I had never fully immersed myself
into it.
    There is no male. There is
no female. I am both and neither. I am sexless. I just exist. I am
what you are, but more. I am within and a part of everything, yet I
am myself.
    So many things flashed
within my thoughts, moving so rapidly I could not understand them.
Yet I knew that the being I’d chosen not to choose, not to believe
in, had abandoned us on Earth. Why?
    Not abandon, little one.
Never abandon. I am always with you. I will always be with you, but
not a living part of you. Once you became your own being, left me,
you had free will. I could hear and see you, but you could not
me.
    What about everything I’d
ever been taught? Were they only lies?
    They were only stories to
pacify some and stories to give others power. There was no curse in
which you were punished with free will. Free will is something that
every being that is no longer connected to me receives. You are
unable to hear or see me outside purgatory and outside of me, but I
can hear and see you. You are a part of me, but not the whole. Even
while connected with me, you are still you, only not
alone.
    It was too confusing, too
much to take in. I wanted—no, needed—answers, but this was pure
nonsense to me. I felt incapable of understanding.
    Something you will not
remember well anyway. Once more, you must choose.
    All I felt was how it was to
be with this life form. How it was to be a part of something so
great was overpowering and overwhelming, but in a pleasant way. It
was what I wanted. The things that still flew through me, still in
disarray, I could not understand. Yet I also knew that there were
other beings that I was no longer connected to that I wanted to be
with. It was a conundrum, one I was unable to solve.
    Would it be easier to know
that you could always come back here, to be with me, but never with
them until they too come here in time?
    In a way it did help. What I
missed I could find, what I lost I could regain.
    Have you chosen?
    No. Will it hurt to leave?
Not physically, but will I lose