Midwife in the Family Way by Fiona McArthur Page B

herself away, she replaced it carefully on the table.
    Her eyes slid across to his and he was watching her. With the barest hint of a smile on his face, but it was enough for her to know. Her face flamed.
    â€˜Well, it is embarrassing.’
    â€˜Si.’ His dark eyes softened on hers. ‘Perhaps a little.’ And he smiled again. ‘But delightful.’
    She rolled her eyes. ‘Great. You find it delightful that I want to sink into a hole in the ground.’
    He frowned. ‘I have no shame, only if I have caused you distress, and neither should you.’ He turned to faceher fully, and before she realised it he’d lifted the hand from her lap and clasped it in his. In that movement he could make her feel small and protected. Something she hadn’t felt since Gianni had left.
    â€˜No,’ he said earnestly. ‘Shame is not what you should be feeling. You should feel pride at bestowing a precious, healing gift on a man who had no expectation of feeling life again.’ He glanced around as if for support. ‘You asked me not to contact you. That it was a moment in time for you, so instead I thought of you. Every moment. But in the end I am glad of my chance to see you again.’
    Emma looked down at her hand held in his and considered the implications of his statement, and the panic galloped up her throat. ‘Let’s not talk about this. Here. At all.’
    He raised his eyebrows and she could see that wasn’t going to happen. She sighed. ‘Or at least give me time.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I’ll need weeks,’ she said under her breath, ‘to get used to the idea that you came back.’
    He let go and sat back. ‘Of course. I apologise. You are right. I did not intend to…’ He hesitated as if to search for the right word. ‘Accost you at work.’
    Emma drew in a long breath and changed the subject. ‘So what did your brother think of you coming out here?’
    He shrugged and then he sighed. ‘I have not lingered at home since my marriage so he is used to me being away. And sometimes the guilt rises because I should see my wife’s parents.’ There was no doubt he felt hisresponsibilities. Which seemed strange when he’d spent so much time away from them. ‘My nephew will inherit my part of the family lands and businesses if I do not marry.’
    His brother might reasonably expect that, Emma thought, after ten years. ‘Can I ask what happened between you and your brother?’
    He spread his strong fingers and she yanked her eyes away from them. ‘His wife did not like me or my rapport with my brother. She succeeded in driving a wedge between us. Now that she has gone, my brother admits that.’ There was little visible emotion in his voice, and Emma wondered if he could really be that calm about such a strong subject.
    â€˜That’s sad. I can only imagine how hard that would be for you both.’
    His face was a mask. He needed to learn that sympathy wasn’t a dirty word, and she couldn’t prevent her hand reaching for his shoulder to squeeze. He lifted his hand and patted hers. ‘I do not deserve your kindness. If I had kept my own wife safe, I would have a whole family of my own by now.’
    He’d loved her. And now he suffered for years at his own guilt. Life could be so cruel.
    Like her father suffered because he loved her mother. Like Emma didn’t want any man to love her when her time came. Her eyes narrowed at the tragedy she wouldn’t allow. ‘Allowing love is a dangerous business.’
    Gianni saw the moment when it became personalfor her. When the fear to risk love stepped in and she looked to the future. And shook her head.
    Now he understood.
    It shone from the darker blue streaks in her blue eyes, the denial of any man being tied to the shell of her. Louisa was right. Emma was scared to allow someone to love her. It was her