you wish. I’ll make sure Damian picks up some more tomorrow.”
It dawned on me how much I was depending upon them. I had no idea how they were getting these bags of blood, how much they cost, if they were stolen…my god, what if I was causing some local hospital to be deprived of the blood supplies they needed for emergencies? My pace slackened, and I finished the second bag out of inertia more than anything else, carefully scooping the rest up and returning them to the fridge. Valerie watched me.
“You should probably drink another bag or two, Aly ,” she said quietly.
“Um, no thanks, I, uh, I’m not hungry anymore.”
She nodded, glanced briefly at Tom, and left the room.
“ Aly , what’s going on? I know you’ve got to still be hungry—I had to drink at least a gallon a day for the first few weeks,” Tom said.
“No, I’m full, really” I said, staring at the ground.
I stiffened as I realized what I’d done. Damnit ! I’d managed to go four years without lying to my friends before being turned, and now I was doing it left and right. This had to stop. I steeled myself, and looked up at him.
“Actually, that’s not true,” I said. “I just—I hate being dependent on people, much less people I hardly know. You’ve all been nothing but extremely kind to me, but it just doesn’t feel right. I haven’t depended on someone else to provide my food since I was a kid living with my parents, and even then I was expected to help pull my own weight. Here I just feel like…” like a leech? A nasty little bloodsucker? Oh, that was rich. “…like I’m mooching off of everyone, and providing nothing in return. And it upsets me to think that I might be taking blood away from humans who could really use it, who might die without it.”
“Do you really think Damian would be getting you blood that was needed elsewhere?” he asked.
“How should I know? You all keep treating me as if we’ve known each other for ages, and I suppose I understand why…” I paused to stuff down the resentment I felt every time I thought about how I’d been spied on. Now was not the time to go into that. “…but everyone seems to forget that I’ve only known you all for a matter of days.”
“I’ve been in your class for the last few weeks, Aly .”
“Not as yourself, you haven’t,” I said. “And I didn’t meet everyone else until yesterday, when I only got a few moments to talk before we were all attacked, and then I kind of cracked, and they broke Valerie’s favorite mirror, and I knocked out Luis, and then you and I, and, and…”
I stopped, realizing I was babbling. I would not cry. I would not cry. I was a freaking vampire, damnit , and I was determined to start at least pretending to be one of the bad-ass heroines from some of my favorite novels. Okay, if I were a bad-ass, what would I do?
“ Aly ?” Tom reached out and lightly gripped my hand. “I know you’re overwhelmed right now. I’m sure once we’ve taken care of these jerks who are hunting you we’ll all be able to make the time to socialize a bit more normally.”
I bit my lip. His soothing concern was not helping my attempt to stiffen my spine a little.
“But you’re not a mooch ,” he continued. “The other reason Damian wanted you over here was to see whether your gifts had any reaction to the plans he’s making. Trust me, you’ll earn your keep,” he said, smiling, though his words had the opposite effect on me. Attempting to harness a force I didn’t understand and still only half-believed wasn’t quite what I had in mind when I said I was used to pulling my own weight.
As if responding to my doubts, I felt a warmth flow across my shoulders. “I think Damian’s almost home,” I said.
“Okay, then you really need to finish a few more packs of blood now, because he’ll want to get started as soon as he gets here.”
I stiffened.
“Please Aly ? You need them as much as any person who’d show up for a