Mischief by Moonlight by Emily Greenwood Page A

another sip of ratafia, willing it to relax the lump of feeling in her throat. She felt odd and out of sorts, as if she didn’t know herself anymore, or what she might do.
    For a moment his face wore the strangest expression. She might have said it was anguish, but it was gone in a moment.
    â€œJosie,” he said. “I trust you are enjoying yourself?”
    â€œYes. No. I don’t know,” she said, wanting to tell him everything but too ashamed.
    His eyebrows went up. “Curious.”
    Colin was older and wiser—she could tell him about how muddled she felt. She so wanted someone’s wisdom. And just as much, she wanted him to stop being remote.
    She grabbed his hand and tugged him around behind an enormous column near the drinks table to give them a little privacy from the dwindling groups of people who were passing toward the door leading to the dining room. Away from the chandeliers and their glittering crystals, the little corner of the grand room was shadowy. Behind them, an ornate, gold-painted double door to a balcony was open to catch the breeze.
    A heavy pause ensued. She had the sense he wanted to be away from her, and she couldn’t understand it. The little fan of lines around his eyes seemed pronounced tonight, as though he were especially tired. He’d probably been up late with some old book.
    She caught sight of Edwina across the room, passing through the doorway to go into dinner in company with Maria and Lord Mappleton.
    â€œIvorwood,” she said quietly, “what is it? You don’t seem happy to see me. And you left Jasmine House so abruptly the last time we were together, as though you were taken ill. Was something amiss?” This was as close as she could get to asking what had happened after she’d put the potion in his tea without admitting she’d done so.
    She thought he stiffened, but perhaps she was imagining it, because he only said, “Just a temporary indisposition. It was nothing.”
    â€œThen have I somehow offended you?”
    â€œNo, of course you haven’t offended me,” he said kindly. “I was simply needed in London. And of course I’m glad you and Edwina are here.”
    â€œThen you’ll dance with me after the dinner break? I know you’re often so busy, but just this once?”
    The dancing joke again, Colin thought grimly. Though this time she looked as if she really did wish him to dance with her. He laughed a little, though it sounded dull to his own ears. But what else was there to do when Josie was quizzing him about why he didn’t want to dance with her?
    Because having you in my arms will only make me want to touch you more. Because I won’t want to stop. Because holding you will make me sick with wanting and jealousy, and I can’t bear to be a man who is lusting after his best friend’s fiancée.
    All words he could never say.
    He conjured an ironic smile and shook his head a bit.
    â€œYou know how it is for an earl. We have those special, secret duties, and tonight I’m sorry to say they involve a small, opinionated female monkey someone’s brought. It’s my duty to entertain her while her master is dancing so she doesn’t become jealous, and I’m afraid that between her demands and the dances I’m required to share with every matron and debutante in London, the night is already taken up.”
    Usually she would be laughing by now, but he caught the shadow of hurt in her eyes and the conjured smile faded from his lips. It had been a mistake for both of them, becoming such close friends. He should never have agreed to watch over her for Nick—it had only given him an excuse to see far too much of her. Now they were so connected in friendship and he needed distance from her, and she wouldn’t understand.
    She was upset about something, though surely not the dancing? It was practically expected at this point that he wouldn’t dance with