More Than I Can Bear by E.N. Joy Page B

thought you knew me better than that.”
    â€œI did too, but today, with you showing up with this new husband of yours who, I repeat, I’d never been formally introduced to, is proof that I don’t know you as well as I thought I did. I never imagined you’d do something so . . . so . . . stupid!”
    â€œMom, I had to. It was either that or . . .” Paige caught herself before she told her mother the complete truth. One shocker at a time.
    â€œEither that or what?”
    â€œPlease, Mom. Just trust me. Marrying Norman is not a mistake, but not marrying him could have led to one . . . one I might not have been able to live with. And no, you may have never formally been introduced to him, but it’s not like you’ve never heard me talk about him before. You know what a good friend he’s been to me.”
    â€œOh, obviously he’s been more than just a good friend.” Her mother rolled her eyes and began putting condiments on the table.
    â€œMother, please, we haven’t even . . .” Once again Paige caught herself before giving too much information. Her mother didn’t need to know that she and her husband had never had sex before . . . at least not with each other.
    â€œI know what it is. That boy knows how much money you’ve got coming to you in that divorce settlement. He ain’t stupid. He’s looking to cash in. He’s probably never seen that much money in his life and never will. He’s got him a sugar mama.”
    Paige chuckled. “Oh, Mother, you couldn’t be more wrong.”
    â€œDo you think this is funny?” Mrs. Robinson slammed down a potholder she’d been using to transport some of the dishes of food.
    Paige stood at attention, her mother’s sharp gesture knocking the grin right off of her face. “No, Mother, I’m sorry. It’s just that . . .” Paige didn’t really know what to say next. How could she explain the full details behind her reasoning for marrying Norman without dumping the entire boatload of the situation on her? One dose at a time or her mother could possibly disown her for life. Paige threw her hands up. “What’s the big deal? Why are you so angry? It’s my life. It’s not hurting you any whether I’m married or not.”
    â€œBut it is,” her mother snapped. Her eyes filled with water and her bottom lip began to tremble.
    â€œMom.” Paige hurried over to her mother and put her arms around her. “Mom, you’re crying.” That was a rare sight for Paige. Her mother had this hard exterior shell, always taking care of business and never letting ’em see her sweat . . . or cry. “What is it, Mom?”
    â€œWhen you hurt, I hurt,” Mrs. Robinson explained. “And I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Blake scarred you. You haven’t even let the wounds heal. You’ve just got them all exposed for the next man to go picking at the scabs, causing even more pain.”
    â€œMom, it’s not like that. Trust me.”
    â€œSure it is. You just want somebody to love you. To make you happy. To make you feel happy, loved, and wanted. I get that. I’m sure that Norman is a nice guy, but even nice guys can change when they’re dealing with someone who’s still hurting. Who’s still bleeding. Who’s still wounded. It’s okay to be alone. Date yourself for a while. Get to know who you are and who you want to be. Because if you just go from one man to the next, you’ll find yourself always being who someone else wants you to be. You’ll die maybe never knowing who you really were. Who you could have been.” Mrs. Robinson released herself from Paige and turned away quickly.
    Paige gave her a moment. “Mom, you sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
    She wiped her tears away and shrugged. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not.” She turned and faced Paige.