Mr. Burke Is Berserk! by Dan Gutman Page B

MAYOR HUBBLE , and shaking hands with everybody.
    It would be cool to be the mayor. He’s like the king of the town. My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that Mayor Hubble has a limo, and a big throne at city hall. Guys carry the mayor around in a chair, and girls in bikinis feed him grapes.
    Mayor Hubble climbed up on the stage.

    â€œI have bad news,” he announced. “The town is broke. The government has cut off all our money, but we still have to balance the budget.”
    I didn’t know what he was talking about.
    â€œDoes this mean you’re going to raise taxes?” asked Ms. Jafee.
    â€œTaxes?!”
    Mayor Hubble suddenly groaned, grabbed his chest, and dropped to his knees. It looked like he was gonna die.
    One of his secret service agents rushed over to help the mayor. The other one leaned over to talk to Mrs. Jafee.
    â€œNever say the T word in front of the mayor,” he told her.
    Mayor Hubble leaned into the microphone.
    â€œI will not raise taxes!” he shouted. “I’m going to lower taxes!”
    â€œIf we don’t have enough money,” asked Mrs. Jafee, “shouldn’t you raise, uh, the T word?”
    â€œRead my lips,” Mayor Hubble shouted at her. “No new taxes!”
    â€œWhy do we need to read your lips?” I asked. “You’re talking .”
    â€œThat’s just an expression, Arlo,” Andrea told me, rolling her eyes.
    â€œI don’t understand,” said Mrs. Jafee. “How can we get the money to balance the budget if you don’t raise … the T word?”
    â€œI have an idea,” said Mrs. Roopy, our media specialist. “We could have a car wash. We could raise the money, balance the budget, and have fun all at the same time!”
    â€œYeah!” everybody shouted excitedly.
    â€œNo!” said Mayor Hubble.
    â€œHow about a bake sale?” asked Miss Laney, our speech teacher. “People love to buy cookies and cakes.”
    â€œNo!” said Mayor Hubble.
    â€œA raffle?” suggested our reading specialist, Mr. Macky.
    â€œNo!” said Mayor Hubble.
    â€œWhy not just close down the school?” I suggested. “That would save money. Then we could stay home and play video games all day.”
    All the kids cheered at my genius idea.
    â€œNo!” said Mayor Hubble. “There’s only one way to balance the budget. I can tell you with just three little letters.”

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Three Little Letters
    The three little letters were C-U-T .
    â€œCuts!” Mayor Hubble shouted into the microphone. “We need to cut the amount of money we spend so we can balance the budget!”
    Just saying the word “cut” seemed to make Mayor Hubble’s eyes light up with excitement. He had a crazy look on his face, the kind of look that evil geniuses in the movies have when they explain how they’re going to take over the world.

    â€œThe first things we’re going to cut,” Mayor Hubble told us, “are the art and music programs.”
    â€œSo long,” said Ms. Hannah, taking her rolling suitcase. “I’m outta here.”
    â€œRight behind you,” said Mr. Loring.
    â€œBut we love art and music!” one of the kids shouted.

    â€œYou kids are here to learn ,” said the mayor, “not to sit around drawing pictures and singing silly songs. That’s just a big waste of money.”
    Everybody looked really sad when Ms. Hannah and Mr. Loring walked out of the all-purpose room.
    â€œThe next things we need to cut are school supplies,” said Mayor Hubble. “So from now on we’re going to stop buying glue sticks, rulers, erasers, tape, and markers. You can have one pencil per classroom.”
    â€œThat’s off the wall!” yelled Miss Small.
    â€œOh, stop whining,” said Mayor Hubble. “This will improve everyone’s schoolwork. If the students only have one pencil,