Much Ado About Nothing by Jenny Oldfield Page B

Benedick is still waving.
    â€˜I’m serious!’ Claudio insists.
    â€˜OK, if you must know, I think Hero’s too short – I prefer tall girls. And she’s dark – I prefer blondes. Apart from that, yeah – she’s hot. Though I still don’t give her more than seven out of ten.’
    â€˜I’m not kidding, Ben. Tell me what you
really
think.’
    â€˜Why? Is she on the market?’
    Claudio leans forward in his seat. ‘You don’t talk that way about a girl like Hero!’
    At last Benedick stops waving to give the kid the benefit of his wide experience. ‘Since you scored the winning goal, you can get any girl you want – and don’t look at me like I said something you didn’t already know!’
    â€˜OK, but I still say Hero’s different. Nicer, sweeter, prettier…’
    â€˜You’re kidding. Are we talking about the same woman? Now take her cousin, Beatrice.If she’d just keep her mouth shut, you’d soon realise she’s way above Hero in the looks department. Anyhow, you’re not thinking of making a move in Hero’s direction, I hope.’
    I notice there’s a long silence between the question and Claudio’s answer.
    â€˜I guess that’s a yes,’ the striker finally admits.
    Just then, the bus driver puts on the brakes. We have arrived at Leonato’s villa.
    â€˜What am I hearing?’ Benedick cries. ‘And what has happened to my new drinking buddy? You do realise that you’re putting your head right into the noose?’ He means it. There’s a long pause, and then he adds, ‘Just don’t come running to me when you’re bored. Hey, Pedro, listen to this!’
    The team coach is about to get off the bus, but he turns to join in Benedick’s bit of fun. ‘OK, guys, what’s up?’
    â€˜Promise not to tell anyone,’ Benedick grins. ‘Only Claudio here is in
lurve
! And before youask, the lucky girl is Hero!’
    â€˜Hold on…’ Claudio’s protest is pretty feeble. ‘OK, I admit it,’ he sighs, going all red and awkward. Bless!
    The coach gives it some thought. ‘Good luck to you, son.’ More thought. ‘She’s a nice girl.’
    â€˜You’re not just saying that?’ Claudio checks.
    â€˜No, it’s true.’
    Benedick breaks the mood by bursting out laughing. ‘Absolutely true!’ He gets up and heads for the door. ‘Just don’t ask me for advice – I know nothing about
lurve
!’
    â€˜Cynic!’ Pedro shouts after him, then slaps Claudio on the back.
    They climb down from the bus, and vanish between the marble columns at the entrance to Leonato’s villa.
    â€˜I reckon Benedick’s not as anti-woman as he makes out,’ Claudio confides to his coach as they go inside. ‘It’s all a big act.’
    â€˜I heard that!’ The man himself stops in his tracks. ‘Listen, my mother’s a woman, I’ll giveyou that. But that’s as far as it goes. I wouldn’t trust another not to make a fool out of me, and that’s the reason I plan to stay single for the rest of my life.’
    â€˜Ha!’ Pedro’s expression says he’s heard it all before. ‘What’s the betting you fall for some girl and start acting the lovesick fool before we know it?’
    But Ben’s having none of it. ‘I may fall sick for other reasons, boss, but not over a woman!’
    â€˜Yeah, yeah…’
    â€˜If I’m wrong, you can tell me what an idiot I’ve been. I’ll own up to it, no problem,’ he insists.
    Pedro winks at Claudio and they join the rest of the players who are crowding round the infinity pool at the back of Leonato’s villa. ‘Stranger things have happened,’ he jokes.
    Benedick strolls to the edge of the terrace and looks out over olive groves to the distant hills. ‘If I do fall in love