My Hope Next Door by Tammy L. Gray Page A

for over a year.
    Only a hint of sadness came now when he thought of Jillian. She had helped him choose each piece. They’d daydreamed of a wedding outdoors. Imagined kids running along the grass in their bare feet. It was a dream he’d held on to for way too long.
    “You finished.” Katie bounced up the steps and then spun around while staring at the wood slats. “Great color choice.”
    Asher had gone with a dark mahogany stain to match the trim around the house’s windows.
    “Thanks. How about you? That dining room finally cleared?”
    “Almost.” She pulled out her phone, glanced at the screen, and slid it back into her pocket. “I have six more boxes to go through, and then I’ll have to figure out a way to organize the stuff we kept so my mom can sell it.”
    He opened up two folding chairs and dropped into one of them. Since he’d helped her move the couch, she’d come over twice, both times after her parents had gone to sleep. She’d ask to be put to work, but in the end they’d spent more time talking than being productive. Their conversations never went too deep, but what they did talk about lingered long after she’d left for the night.
    Asher stared beyond the trees. The sky had dulled into a gray blue, and soon reds and oranges would split the clouds, unencumbered by artificial lights. His favorite thing about living in the country.
    “Is your mom still badgering you about the work space?” He motioned for Katie to sit, but she paced the perimeter of the deck instead.
    He’d wanted to show Katie this beautiful phenomenon from his back porch, wanted to ask her opinion on the furniture. He’d even wanted to tell her just how much her friendship mattered. But something stopped him. Tonight felt different. Her entire countenance was off.
    “You okay?”
    She checked her phone again. “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I was just supposed to meet someone and I didn’t go.” She strolled over to him and sat as if she was forcing herself to. Her knee bounced and her heel tapped the metal leg of the chair.
    “Why didn’t you go?” He didn’t know if that was crossing some imaginary line they’d drawn, but he pressed anyway.
    Katie shot to her feet and found a stretch of woodwork to admire. “I didn’t want to.”
    “That’s a fair reason, I guess. Who were you supposed to meet?”
    She glanced at him but didn’t answer his question. “Why did you come back to Fairfield? You got out. You went off to college. Nobody ever comes back here after they go away to school.”
    Asher rose to his feet. He hated sitting while she stood. He hated everything about their interaction tonight. She was edgy and distracted. “I grew up here. I wanted my kids to grow up here.” He crossed the deck, leaned a hip against the rail, and studied her. It wasn’t just the scattered thoughts or skittishness. She looked lost, defeated, tired. He should comfort her, wrap her up and chase the sadness away, but that wasn’t their relationship. So he just stood there, next to her, hoping his proximity was enough. “What happened today?”
    She hung her head. “I swore I’d never come back here.”
    “Famous last words. Seems like God always changes the game when we do that.”
    She covered her face with both hands. “I can’t do this. I can’t be different and be in this town. There are too many ghosts. Too many memories. Too many people I’ve hurt.”
    The earlier pain in his chest returned. Two years ago he wouldn’t have understood, but now he did. The church, Jillian, his own failures. It had all ripped apart the fabric of his plan. “I wish I could offer you some advice, but I don’t have any.”
    Katie lowered her hands. “You say that like you’ve been there.”
    “I’m living it.” He scanned the yard and the thick surrounding woods, not offering more. He wasn’t sure he was ready to blur the lines around . . . well, whatever they were doing. But, he also refused to pretend anymore. A year with