My Mother's Secret by J. L. Witterick Page A

and don’t hurt anyone, but I don’t help anyone either, so there’s nothing to help my conscience.
    I feel alone in the crowd.

Chapter 47
    I am permitted to write letters to Oma, but they are censored and we can’t say anything about our location, how the war is going, or anything that we have done. Basically, there is nothing I can say to her except that I am alive and miss her.
    Our commander calls us to a meeting emphasizing the importance of secrecy.
    He tells us that an important aircraft factory in Germany was bombed, even though the location was hidden. Apparently, the local newspaper had innocently reported, in its society pages, the names of some top-ranking officials attending parties in this small, obscure town, and that was enough of a clue for the Allies to figure out that there was something there.

Chapter 48
    I have no friends in this army.
    I keep to myself.
    It would be easy for someone close to see that I don’t fit in.
    I eat whatever food is provided. Admitting to being a vegetarian would be seen as a sign of weakness in my present company. There are so many things I am doing out of character that what I eat just falls into that category.
    At the end of the day, I want to make sure that I don’t forget who I am, so I picture myself riding through the woods or sitting by the fire with Oma—or anything that is beautiful and serene. I try not to let the ugliness of the war sink in.
    Without realizing it, Oma has trained me to survive the day-to-day of the army. With the work that I did around the farm, I have no problem carrying the heavy backpack required of me. Being trained to keep my room and myself tidy from a young age, it is second nature for me to appear in top shape.
    My commander, a man whose natural position is upright and who always looks like his uniform has just been pressed, calls me over. He has noticed how my uniform is always clean and crisp and my boots shining. I think this is the reason I am invited to be a guard for him at a dinner party given by his friend’s girlfriend.
    We hear that her mother worked as a cook in Germany before coming back to Poland and knows how to make all the best dishes. For once, there is something that I am looking forward to, and I make sure to thank the commander.
    The home is modest, but we enjoy the food immensely.
    It reminds us of our homeland.
    We sing songs, and by the warmth of the fire, it almost feels like we are back in Germany.
    Franciszka, the old lady hosting the dinner, looks nothing like my tall
oma
, but how she treats me reminds me of home. She tells me to “eat, eat,” but she doesn’t need to because we are eating with abandonment. Foot soldiers don’t get the best food, and tonight is a feast.
    After that night, I go back to visit with Franciszka and to have her delicious sauerkraut as often as I can. She tells me that I remind her of her son, Damian.
    It’s funny how you can find a kindred spirit in the most unlikely of places.

Chapter 49
    I don’t know what makes me decide to trust her, but I do, in spite of Oma’s words.
    â€œFranciszka, you can’t believe what we did in the ghetto,” and I proceed to tell her everything.
    It feels like the burden is lighter to be able to share it.
    Despite hearing what we did, she tells me that she knows that I am a good person.
    It is what Oma would have said.
    I tell her about Oma and how I am all she has. “We’re going to be sent into Russia, and I don’t think I’ll survive that,” I say sadly.
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    S HORTLY AFTERWARD, the commander tells us that half the platoon will move in the next few days.
    I know what I have to do.
    I sneak out and make my way to Franciszka’s house.
    Although it is very late at night, she is not asleep and answers the door quickly when she hears my voice.
    She puts a finger to her lips to instruct me to whisper. I understand and quietly beg