My Notorious Life by Kate Manning Page B

never so surprised as to find my mother still alive and with a wornout runt of a baby asleep on her chest.
    She looked at him, her face unsteady. —You have a girl, Mr. Duffy.
    Kathleen fit just so with her head in the palm of his thick hand, and her scarlet feet at the bend of his arm. —Well aren’t you a poorly little chipeen, he said, but with such a soft voice and a wondering look in his expression it was as if a hard bitter shell had been peeled off him. He kissed my mother and brushed the hair off her forehead.
    She wrinkled her nose at the smell off him. —You devil, you’re tanked.
    —Can’t a man have a pint when he’s a new baby to celebrate? he asked, with his hand on his heart. He kissed my mother again as she tended the child and gave her a wink while she glared at him, but I saw the smile sneak up and get the better of her when he started chattering to my new sister.
    —Hallo wee babby, Duffy says to Kathleen, taking her up in his arms. —Here you are at last. It’s a good thing the milk is free, as we have no money for a cow. He sang her a little song about Oats Peas Beans and Barley Grow. He laughed and danced her around the place and gave out sausage for our dinner. It was a celebration, for I had a sister again. Mam did not eat. She kept her eyes shut.
    —Get up now, Mam, I said.
    But Mam did not want to get up. She turned her face to the wall and said she would rest.
    Duffy bounced our Kathleen and jigged her up and down with a wiry bending of his knees. He held her up and showed her things like he was a carnival barker, saying Step Right Up Young Lady and See the Wonders of the World. This is a stove. Now, repeat after me, STOVE. This is the BED.This is the CHAIR. And, young Kathleen, miss, this lump here is your SISTER, Axie Muldoon otherwise known as Madame Grand Attitude. So say Ta to her now Kathleen, can you say TA? And here is your MOTHER isn’t she a beautiful bit of bloss there? He leaned over and puckered his lips at Mam and said, —Give Kathleen’s father a kiss Mary Duffy. But Mam was tired on the bed, so pale. Her hair was damp and she lay sidelong with her knees bent. Duffy paid her no mind and continued his tour, saying, —This ugly cove here is your UNCLE Kevin, my brother, he’s an eejit and a lowlife but his wife—your AUNTIE Bernie, now she’s a lovely piece of tackle, so she is, and can hold her pint with the best of the fellas.
    Aunt Bernie slapped at him, but laughing.
    —CAN’T you let me rest? Mam snapped.
    —What’s the matter?
    Mam did not say. Her eyelashes made dark half moons bordering sunken white sockets.
    Bernie felt her head. —You’ve a fever.
    Mam kept her eyes closed. I saw Duffy and Bernice exchange a bad look.
    —Let her rest, Duffy said.
    The baby let out a small mew.
    —What’s wrong with her? Mam whispered. —Give her here to me.
    It took all her strength just to sit up and take the baby and shunt her to latch on and feed. Bernie helped her. Mam lay back with her eyes closed. Kathleen fretted.
    —She’s not right, Mam said. —She won’t feed.
    —Sure she will, said Duffy. —You’ll make her.
    —You can’t make her, Mam said.
    —I can, said Duffy. —She will.
    He bent over Mam and tried to coax my sister. He turned her head so her mouth covered the nipple but she would not suck more than once or twice.
    —Leave her, Mam said. —Leave her. She’ll drink soon enough.
    But she did not. The child was listless. She lay quiet on Mam’s chest. Her skin had a bluish cast and her miniature monkey hand was fisted up by her face like she was fighting something. Mam did not get out of her bed all night. She turned and groaned in the dark. Duffy had the baby with him.He held her, sitting up till dawn with his back against the wall. I stayed by Mam. I mopped her head and gave her water. The coverlet was sticky where she lay.
    In the daylight, there was Duffy by the doorway, pacing with the baby in his arms. —She’s not right, he said.