Never Knowing by Chevy Stevens Page B

safety of my family depended on it. Her safety depended on it.
    When I knocked on her door my heart kicked into high gear and my throat tightened. She didn’t answer, but her car was in the driveway. Had she seen me walk up to the house? What should I say if Katharine’s home? This was a bad idea. Then I heard voices from the back of the house.
    As I came around the corner I saw Julia and an older man standing by a basement window at the far end of the house. The man was carrying a clipboard and Julia was pointing at the window, her face pale and strained. I stopped, wondering if I should leave. I picked up part of their conversation, something about steel bars. Now I remembered seeing a van for a security company on the street. The man said something as he shook Julia’s hand, but she seemed distracted. She was still staring at the window as he walked past me with a nod. I waited until he was down the driveway, then cleared my throat. Her head snapped in my direction.
    “Hi, I need to talk to—”
    “That’s it. I’m calling the police.” She stalked toward a back deck.
    “That’s why I’m here—it’s about the police.”
    That stopped her. She turned around.
    “What do you mean?”
    “I’ve been getting calls from newspapers and—”
    “What do you think my life is like?” Her face was flushed and angry. “I had to cancel classes today because reporters are harassing my students and waiting in the parking lot. My home number and address are unlisted, but it won’t take them long to get that information. Or did you already tell them that too?”
    “I never—”
    “Are you trying to make money off this? Is that what you’re here for?” She started to pace in short jerky directions like she wanted to run but didn’t know where to go.
    “I didn’t have anything to do with it getting out. That’s the last thing I wanted. I only told a private investigator, and then my sister because I was upset, but I don’t know how it got leaked.”
    “You hired a private investigator.” She shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed. When she opened them, they looked desperate.
    “What do you want ?”
    “I don’t want anything.” But it wasn’t true. And now she’d never give me what I really wanted.
    “Do you know how long it took for me to build a life here?” she said. “You’ve ruined everything .”
    Her words crashed into me and I almost stepped back from the blow. She was right, I had ruined everything. And it was about to get worse. The next part would terrify her even more, but it had to be said. I braced myself.
    “I came here today because I thought you should know a man called me this morning. He said … he said he’s my real father. He recognized your photo and he said he had your earrings.”
    She was completely still, the only movement her pupils dilating. Then she began to shake as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.
    “They were a gift from my parents. Pearls. Pink ones with silver leaf backings, for my graduation.” Her voice caught and she swallowed hard. “I was worried about wearing them camping, but my mother said beautiful things were to be enjoyed.”
    He did take her earrings. I remembered the man’s voice, the way he spoke about his daughter. My blood whooshed in my ears as I stared at her, trying to think of what to say, trying not to think about what this meant.
    Finally I found some words. “I’m … I’m sorry he took them.”
    Her eyes met mine. “He said thank you. ” She looked away again. “The police never revealed to the public that he took my earrings. They told me they’d catch him.” She shook her head. “Then I found out I was pregnant. But I couldn’t kill it. So I changed my name and moved away. I just wanted to forget it ever happened. But every time he murders someone, the police find me. One of them told me I was the lucky one.” She laughed bitterly, then looked back at me.
    “I’ve lived in terror for thirty-five years that