Next Door Daddy by Debra Clopton Page B

She’d hug the breath out of him and never let him go. “God has been with me every step of the way, but half of the progress I’ve made was because of the memory of Marc’s voice in my head.” She sighed, feeling the soft April wind whisper over her skin, bringing with it the memory of his touch. “It’s one of God’s gifts, you know.” Her voice was troubled even to her own ears. Sometimes it took everything she had inside her heart to keep focused on those gifts and not the aching loss.
    Nate turned to her, his dark eyes questioning. “A gift?”
    She focused. “Yes. I love having Marc’s voice in my head. It’s a way of keeping him with me. Losing the sound of his voice is one of the things I fear most. I know that day is coming.” Polly thanked God every night for the memories. Though with each passing year she lost things. Little things. The feel of his hand on hers. The sound of his laughter…things he said. He was drifting away from her slowly, piece by piece. Oh, she knew she wouldn’t forget everything…but she didn’t want to forget anything. Not one second.
    It had been two years, though. It was time for her to move forward and let some of the past fade. She sniffed and forced the disheartening thought away. It was inevitable that memories faded over time. She was so thankful for Gil. Period. On his own merit, but also because she could see Marc in him. He looked so much like his dad. People thought he looked like her on first glance because he had her coloring, but he looked like his dad. He laughed like him, held his head like Marc when he was thinking. He tied his shoestrings backward like his dad had taught him, along with the totally weird way he held his fork. She was comforted knowing that even if some memories faded, she had Gil to keep others alive.
    Nate didn’t have that.
    â€œSo what does Kayla get mad at you about?”
    He held her gaze for the longest time, as if deciding if he wanted to share something so personal. But Polly knew that maybe he needed to share with someone. They hadn’t known each other long, yet this connected them like nothing else could. She cocked her head to the side and smiled encouragingly up at him, urging him to let her in.
    He frowned and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “That I don’t move on.”
    â€œAnd you don’t have any desire to move on.”
    He looped his thumbs through his belt loops. “Honestly, sometimes I wish I did.”
    â€œBut you don’t.” It wasn’t a question, just an observation. She had the same feeling.
    â€œNo, I don’t. At least I haven’t. How about you?”
    â€œNope. I feel so blessed to have had what I had with Marc. I can’t begin to imagine loving someone else. I mean, I get so lonely sometimes…” She let the thought trail off. “But I can live with that. There are worse things than being lonely. I would much rather be lonely than make a mistake and tarnish something that was so great. Marc was my best friend….”
    â€œKayla was mine.” Nate’s gaze softened. “How did Marc die?”
    Polly took a deep breath, detaching from the explanation the way she’d learned to do. “A car accident, stopped at a red light. Gil was with him and I thank God he survived. Without a scratch.” The tragic irony of it still got to her. After all the fear and worry over Marc’s love of speed—he’d been killed sitting quietly at a red light smiling into the backseat at his son. It had taken her a long time to be able to say those words without tears. And she wasn’t always successful even now. “Life can change in the blink of an eye….”
    He nodded.
    â€œAnd Kayla, how did Kayla die?” She hated this, but it needed to be out of the way.
    â€œSlowly,” he said. Bitterness marked his expression as he turned away. Polly