things you do scare me,â he said.
âLike what?â she asked. âYouâve done everything I do.â
He put his hand on her leg, just held it loosely, but a shiver went up her body. âOkay, maybe thatâs true, but I hated itâat least when I first arrived at fourteen. I was so dusty and dirty and every night when I went to bed, Iâd stare out the window above my bed and think about being up there with the stars.â
Even when heâd been closest to her, heâd been just out of her reach. She knew this. Why did she keep trying to find some way to convince herself he was the kind of man whoâd stay?
She should stop thinking of him as Jason and remember he was Ace. Thatâs all he could ever be to her.
Ace.
Superstar astronaut. Heart in the stars. He was here because he was grounded. As soon as the all clear came heâd be gone.
He hadnât even hesitated to sign that document earlier that had given her the right to make all decisions about the ranch if he was off the planet for more than two years.
âWhy did Dad give you half the ranch?â she asked.
He shrugged. But she felt that he knew more.
âDonât lie.â
âLifting my shoulders isnât lying,â he said.
âNot telling the truth is. Please, tell me,â she said.
âHe told me once that he was afraid youâd never have a chance to be anything more than what he and the Bar T had made you. I guess he didnât want to put the full weight of owning the ranch on you. Maybe he thought Iâd be able to help.â
She could hear her fatherâs voice in Jasonâs words. Heard the worry heâd felt in the last few months before his accident. Tears burned her eyes and she blinked, trying to stem them, but failed. âWhy didnât he ask me what I wanted?â
âMaybe he was afraid of the answer.â
She hugged herself and put her head down. The ache she felt for her father was all-consuming. She just wanted one more hug. One more chance to smell that unique scent of Old Spice aftershave and worn leather. To know she didnât have to worry because he was there.
She felt Jasonâs hand on her arm.
âIâm sorry,â he said.
âMe, too. I... What did he think Iâd do?â
âLive. He said that he suspected you were hiding from something here,â Jason said.
She went still. The tears stopped and she realized her father knew there was more to her coming back from Houston than a messy roommate.
âWhat are you hiding from?â
* * *
T ALKING NEVER WAS her strong suit. Sheâd never learned to hide what she was feeling, to protect herself. She pulled her arm out from under Jasonâs and scooted toward the end of the truck. She hopped down and stood there. Twilight had darkened and she was caught between night and day. She was dressed up rather than wearing her usual jeans and scuffed boots. She almost felt like she didnât belong here right now.
She was a mess. Sheâd been pretending for too long that she wasnât. Thought she was going to make a deal with Jason and somehow get the ranch back on solid financial ground once and for all. But now she acknowledged sheâd been kidding herself. She was never going to get out of this morass.
She knew it as surely as she knew that sheâd been sending mixed signals all day. She wanted him. She wanted to lose herself in that sweet crush she remembered from a more innocent time. When sheâd had no idea what real heartbreak and loss felt like.
Jason slid to the end of the pickup truck and sat there, his legs hanging over the tailgate as he quietly watched her. She noticed that he had on some kind of hiking boot, not Western boots. He wasnât a cowboy. How many times was she going to have to be faced with that knowledge before it sank in?
âYou okay?â
No.
âOf course. I mean, you just told me my dad thought I was hiding,