Nurse Lang by Jean S. Macleod Page B

so suddenly stricken dumb?”
    “Because, whatever I say, you will not believe me just now.”
    He released her, standing back and running his hand through his hair in a bewildered gesture which tore at her heart.
    “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve no right to—try to run other people’s lives for them.”
    Moira stood aside as he leapt into the saddle, pulling the horse’s head round towards the drive, but she could not think of anything more to say. He had taken her promise to Philip for granted, and even if it had not been in his plans for the future, he would accept it now. That first, impassioned moment of denial had passed. He was himself again.
    When he had galloped away she went slowly back towards the house. She stood before Philip’s window, waiting subconsciously for Grant’s return, her ears attuned to distant hoofbeats which were nothing more than the wild drumming of her own heart.
    “When I go over to the hospital,” Philip said out of the shadows behind her, “I want Grant to arrange for you to come with me. It should be easy for him. He has the controlling say in most things over there, and Elizabeth Hillier will back him up. She always does.”
    “How long has Doctor Hillier been at Mellyn?” Moira asked without turning.
    “Five or six years, I should think. She’s been there as long as Grant has.”
    Working with him Moira thought, day by day! Had that proved compensation enough for Elizabeth, even when Kerry had come upon the scene?
    “You haven’t said you’ll come,” Philip reminded her.
    “I made you a promise,” she said, as she had once said to Grant.
    He sighed with relief.
    “So you did! And I should imagine you are the sort of person who would never go back on her word.”
    Suddenly Moira felt that she had to get away, even if it were only for a minute or two to compose her scattered thoughts.
    She went swiftly out of the room and down the staircase to the hall, aware that Serena was moving about in the dining-room with a purposeful air, arranging the flowers and casting an expert eye down the long, beautifully-appointed table which was always set out with meticulous care, even when the family dined alone.
    She turned in between the double doors of the library where a fire had been lit for Grant earlier in the day. She knew that he had not come in and could not think when that wild ride of his would end, but probably he would go straight up to his own room when he came in from the stables and would appear at dinner perfectly composed.
    She stood shivering before the fire, unable to find comfort, unable to see any clear way in the future, and then the window behind her opened and Grant came in.
    She had not heard his step on the terrace, but .she saw him before he became aware of her and she thought that he looked haggard and old. In the next instant, however, his face was wiped clear of emotion and he crossed to the door and switched on the central lights.
    The room leapt into bold relief and his eyes met hers fully.
    “I’m sorry I spoke to you in the way I did,” he said without preliminary. “I ought to have realized how much Philip needed—something like this to help him to face the future.”
    She could not tell him then that she had given her promise to his brother under pressure, and all she could hope was that it might have eased some of the burden from his own shoulders. She knew that he had thrust aside all personal desire in order to help Philip face the future, because there would be no hope of his studying for the extra degree in surgery which he had set his heart on while his brother’s demands upon him were so many.
    “Philip talks about going over to the hospital quite freely now,” she said, hoping that he would not see the tortured love mirrored in her eyes. “He seems reconciled to the idea, at last.”
    “You have made a difference to Philip in a very short time. I’m glad of that.” He seemed to be speaking with difficulty, as if he had never