You forgive me?”
“ Yes.”
“ I didn't hide it from you because I thought that. I was afraid, okay? I wanted to please you and to be close. I wanted to be normal. And I wasn't lying about how seeing you on the floor—”
“ I know.” The other body settles against the headboard and swings his legs to touch his. The clammy skin is cold, but feels nice to his feverish skin.
Cade sniffles and leans against his shoulder, pressing his lips there. “You are normal. We are normal, whatever happens. And you please me in every way. Nothing will ever make me leave you.”
“ I missed you.” Love can think of nothing else to say. With the poison swamping his blood and his words worn away, it will have to do until he wakes up in a better state. “I miss you every time you're not with me.”
“ So do I.” Cade plants a damp kiss on his jaw where the bitter moisture that runs from his eyes collects in the stubble.
Eighteen
His head has a dull ache when he wakes, yet he counts himself lucky. The hangover could have been a lot worse, setting him back a day. So, he takes aspirin and smiles. He didn't drink a great deal, but the years without it were no match for the sudden assault on his liver.
Cade came back to him last night, and that's all that matters. He still lies under the blankets with his golden skin untouched. His hair is a mess from tossing and turning all night, but Love can say with honesty he has seen thing more beautiful. His eyelashes flicker as though caught in a vivid dream—a good one too if his smile is anything to go by.
Love watches him sleep until the stench of his clothes becomes overbearing. When that inevitably happens, a shower becomes a must, so he clambers away from the sleeping form with all his willpower.
While the shower heats and builds steam clouds in the bathroom, Love sets out his plans for Christmas Eve. His mind races with ideas to make the day perfect because he cannot risk losing the guy in his bed. He tries telling himself no reason exists for the pair to separate, but he cannot make it stick.
It's having no pills that's causing a little paranoia, no big deal.
If he keeps that in mind, perhaps he can control his emotions without the pills.
He peels the clammy material from his skin and tosses them in a heap beside the door. The heat hits his shoulders when he enters the tub, and soon, the stream curls outward from his pink flesh. Arching his face forwards, he embraces the water onto his closed lids. If he stands here long enough, perhaps he can rinse away every ache and pain the bad sleep and alcohol brought to him.
Love bypasses the coconut and lichee shampoo. He may squirt it into his palms sometimes to smell Cade, but although the smell is intoxicating, he can't stand it on himself. Instead, he squeezes the apple shampoo on his hands and washes his hair.
He can run to the store while Cade is at work and get the pieces he needs to make his plan work. One good thing about Christmas Eve is he doesn't have to go in with all the holiday staff the store hires every year. With luck, Cade will see the effort he makes and forgive him. The last thing he wants is tension between them, especially this time of year. Besides, he knows he will love this.
“ What are you fantasising about, hey?”
Love stops rinsing his hair with foam running down the sides of his face and glances toward the door. He didn't hear Cade enter, but the sight of his naked body makes him grin.
“ There's only one guy who fills my head twenty-four seven, baby.”
The tub creaks with the combined weight as Cade joins him. “How are you feeling today?”
“ A little worse for wear, but nothing I can't handle with you by my side.” Love rinses the shampoo away and entwines the slender fingers with his own. “Can you come straight back after work? I've got a surprise for you. You will love it.”
“ Listen,” Cade interrupts his happy little bubble. His face is