Out of Grief by EA Kafkalas Page A

to ask for?”
     
    It was quiet on the other end of the line. I had gone too far, I knew; but it had to be said. Whatever this game was, I didn’t want any part of it.
     
    I finally asked, “Are you still there?”
     
    “I’m here.” Her voice was soft, timid in a way I rarely heard. She was deep in thought, I could tell from her manner.
     
    “Look, maybe we should just take a little break from talking every day.”
     
    That got her attention. “Is that what you really want?”
     
    “What I want and what I can have are two very different things, Quinn. I know that. Look, why don’t we just talk in a couple days. If there’s something dire, you know you can call me. But let’s try to give it a week or so.”
     
    “And if I’m not happy about that?”
     
    “A week, Quinn. We went months without talking before Steven killed himself. A week should be nothing. Okay?”
     
    “You’re not really giving me a choice, are you?”
     
    She was right. I didn’t want to give her a choice. But I couldn’t come out and say that, could I? “For me? Please.”
     
    “Okay.”
     
    “Good night.”
     
    “Nikki, I … just … I love you.”
     
    “Okay.” I hung up, knowing she wouldn’t. I wasn’t really sure what I had just done. But if I was going to move on, like everyone kept telling me to do. I would have to begin setting boundaries.
     
    ***
     
    The week went by without incident, or at least without her breaking the request. And by the seventh day, I was anxious to speak to her; I had grown used to our chats and texts.
    I thought the week would do something to extinguish any desire I had, but if cold showers hadn’t done it, why would not talking?

Chapter Twenty-Five
    I was grading papers. It was May, and there was still enough of a breeze that I could leave the windows open and be cool enough walking around in a pair of boxers and a wife beater. I had just popped open a cold Black & Tan when the doorbell rang. Not expecting anyone, I checked the peephole. Quinn stood, suitcase beside her, looking like she was about to pop the baby out at any moment.
     
    I opened the door, and she fell in to my arms. “Surprise!”
     
    I thought the hug would be awkward with her baby bump, but somehow we managed, as we always did. We were the two puzzle pieces that fit together no matter what. The warmth of her body in my arms was intoxicating. I tried not to think about how I craved this contact from her. “You look incredible,” I mumbled into her hair.
     
    “Yeah, right!”
     
    How could she say that? Even with bed head, she would still find a way to be beautiful. Or was it just that I found her radiant? “No really, you’re glowing. I never thought that stuff was true, but you are.” I held her at arms’ length and took in the sight of her in shorts and a peasant top flowing over her stomach, now growing with life. “You are absolutely perfect.”
     
    “My mother said I put on too much weight.”
     
    And she wondered why her mother set my teeth on edge. Why would anyone say that? Let alone to a pregnant woman? “Nonsense.” I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re with child. You’re not fat. You know she makes me crazy when she says shit like that, don’t you?”
    “You and me both.”
     
    “Do you want to come in?” I reached for the handle on her bag, and pulled it inside. “So, what brings you to the Big Apple?”
     
    “I missed you.”
     
    There was an undertone to those words that I was trying to place. Something that would make a pregnant woman fly at this stage of the game. I waited, but she wasn’t offering any more information. So, I said the first thing that came to mind. “Have you eaten? I was going to order something. Or I could put some clothes on and we could go out.”
     
    She sat on the leather couch, and slipped her sandals off. “Let’s stay in.”
     
    “Chinese okay?”
     
    “Perfect.”
     
    I picked up my cell phone and placed the