Out Through the in Door by Ed Hilow Page A

back. “But how?”
              “From unprotected sex, blood transfusions or sharing a needle. I cannot say. Do you have any idea?”
              Mika shrugged his shoulders
              “Has Eli ever been tested?” The doctor asked.
              “I don't know.” Mika looked at his hands and rubbed his fingers. “What do I do?”
              “You take it one day at a time.” She poured him a glass of water. “We'll discuss treatment options. A lot of advances have been made in treating HIV.” Dr. Brennan pulled a card from her coat pocket and handed it to him. “If you need someone to talk to about this, Dr. Olat is a counselor.”
              Mika took the card and stuffed it in his pocket.
              She walked back to her chair and sat. For a moment she paused. “I would not normally pry into your personal life, but  I assume you and Eli are monogamous. If you aren't you should inform anyone with which you have had sexual relations in the last three to six months to get tested as a precaution.”
              “But I could have gotten this from anybody.”
              “It would have been within the last few months.”
              “I don't understand.”
              “You had a test last year and it came back negative. Based on these results you are in the initial stages of the infection. Typically HIV shows up in a test within three months of contracting it although it can in some cases take up to six months to show up.”
              “But I feel fine.”
              “You can have HIV for months, even years without so much as a symptom. The test just confirms the presence of the virus in your system. It is also what's hampering your recovery.”
              “Why?”
              “Your immune system is already working hard fighting the shingles With the presence of the HIV is has to work that much harder. Now that we know, I can prescribe some stronger more effective medications.”
              Mika sipped the water. His eyes darted around the room. He felt shame and embarrassment and needed to be anyplace else. He wanted to scream.
              “I know this is a lot to absorb,” Dr. Brennan added. “But having HIV is no reason to think you can't live a normal health life. It just requires being proactive and diligent about your health. Do you have any questions?”
              Mika shook his head.
              “Is there someone that can pick you up? I don't think you should drive or be alone right now.” She asked.
              “Eli is waiting in the car.” Mika stood and shook her hand. He avoided eye contact as he tried to hid his lie. 
              “Are you sure you're okay?”
              Mika forced a smile. “I'll be fine.”
              “I'll have Susan call you to schedule an appointment to discuss the next steps.”
              “Thank you.” Mika opened the door.
              “Mika.,” Dr. Brennan offered. “Eli should also get tested.”
              Mika nodded in acknowledgment as he left.
              He sat in his car so lost in thought, he failed to notice the lengthening cigarette ash that threatened to burn him. He looked in the mirror. His eyes were red and his faced looked drawn. He saw a wrinkle and, in that moment, realized  his youth was passing and he may not see middle age. At thirty-five, his future was an uncertainty. Round and round the thoughts and emotions whirled.
              Next month, would be eight years with Eli. Now, Mika wasn't sure if they would make it until then. He loved Eli or he thought he did.