on.
Before I knew it, the holidays were here, but we had very little to celebrate.
For Thanksgiving, Lili, Grandma, Connor, Gloria, and I headed over to Mama Sally and Papa David’s place for a humongous feast. Da had decided to take a haul, getting paid extra for working the holiday.
“That man has abandoned you!” Grandma hissed at me when I’d told her he wouldn’t make it. “He left your mother in her time of need, and he’s left you now to try to pick up the pieces of your life!”
“Grandma, he’s in pain, too. Honestly, I don’t feel that way,” I assured her.
My anger with my father had dissipated as the weeks passed. There was a time when I’d agreed wholeheartedly with my grandmother but not anymore. I really didn’t see the difference between what Da was doing and my own drive to be so busy, so I wouldn’t have time to think about anything else. He was working the holiday, so he didn’t have to see how much Mom’s absence hurt all of us. I was okay with that.
“Grandma Betty looks so old now,” Alys whispered as we hid out on the side of her parents’ house, smoking a spliff before heading inside and tackling a mountain of food. “Does she sleep at all anymore?”
“I don’t think she gets much,” I replied, hitting the joint and holding it in, passing it off to Connor. “It’s weird. I never see her cry. At least, she doesn’t when I’m home. I don’t know what she does while I’m at school.”
“I’ll tell Mom to start checking up on her throughout the week,” said Alys. “Just sort of stop by and spring visits on her.”
I nodded. “She’s too Southern not to be polite and refuse a guest. It might help her out.”
“What about you though?” my brother quietly asked me. “Who’s checking up on you?”
I smiled as warmly as I could possibly manage. “I have you guys to keep me in line.”
He draped his arm around my shoulder. “I’ll come stay over more.”
Like when Da is home, no doubt.
I had a feeling that Da must be the hardest to be around. How Gloria was still with him, I had no clue. His temper was really short these days, and to my understanding, Connor would take the brunt of his verbal abuse. Da never had and never would raise a hand to any of us, but the man’s words could cut to the quick.
The four-day holiday weekend was over before we knew it, and Alys drove back to Lafayette. It would be another five weeks before she returned to us, but I’d speak with her nearly every day, so it wasn’t like she was out of reach.
In school, I’d befriended a guy named Gavin Francis. With a head shaved down to an impressive shine, he was short and stacked like a tank. He was just as serious about our education as I was. His goals concerning education and work mirrored mine, and we’d formed a tight bond in that respect. We didn’t socialize much outside of school, except when we needed to study. Our tastes were very different in our personal lives, and there was no sexual chemistry between us whatsoever. But he made class more fun, and I sure as hell needed more of that in my life.
Christmas break was a bit of a pain in the ass.
My mother had adored the Christmas season but not for any religious reasons. It was just the fact that it was a fun, lively time, and she’d liked having a big fat tree in her home. It didn’t bother me that Grandma hadn’t wanted to decorate. The woman had all but banned it. Besides, I would be the one who’d be putting them up and taking them down, so that saved me the trouble.
However, the nightmare reared its ugly head when Da invited us over for Christmas dinner. My grandmother threw a fit and refused to leave the house. I was tempted to just leave her sullen ass and let her stew in her own misery. In the end, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave her alone on her first Christmas without her daughter.
“I’m sorry, Da, but it’s just a really bad time, okay? I don’t want to leave her like this,” I